Direct Sexual Game: My Two Cents

On one of the message boards I frequent a question of how to develop "Direct Sexual" game came up. Now personally I've been paring down elements of what I do in relation to girls, discarding what doesn't work and keeping what does. My $0.02 from that discussion board follows:

My current style is very playful indirect and I want to try out a very sexual direct style.

The Sexual BT seems lacking. We may makeout, but I don't often feel the "I want to take it back to your place" vibe.

What's your end goal for any given interaction? Is it the club makeout? Or is it to take a girl home? The two goals are mutually exclusive, IME.

Here's another angle to look at things: How slutty are you making the girl look in front of her friends? That's a more direct correlation to whether you'll be taking her home that night. If you're having sloppy makeout sessions in the middle of her group I can almost guarantee you won't be taking her home.

After an interaction and exchange of contact information, they come out for a Day 2 because I hype it up like crazy and they know they will have a good time with me. They come back to my place and sex happens with no LMR. If not on the Day 2, then usually by Day 3.

It feels like they say to themselves, "It just happened," instead of "I couldn't wait to fuck him."

I don't see where the problem lies here. You should be removing all responsibility for the sex from their shoulders anyways. "Plausible deniability" and all that, at least on the surface. It's easier for girls to explain to their girlfriends that "it just happened," so just run with it.

Girls know EXACTLY what they're doing when they enter your house, when they ALLOW you to use their bathroom "real quick", when they join you "just for a quick drink." They're not stupid, BUT they DO need to still "save face" to prevent being branded with the Scarlet Letter.

If you have found experiences or successes with a Sexual Direct style, would you give me some pointers?

Anything from openers, lines/routines, body language, tonality, things to do on Day 2's, conversation styles, mindset, and/or anything else you feel is relevant is appreciated. I'm open to everything and am all ears.

IMO, "Sexual Direct" is where everyone's game should be evolving towards. There are no "openers" or routines, you simply "Are."

The ingredients, IME:

1. ROCK-SOLID Inner Game
2. Outcome Independence (which is tied in to Inner Game)
3. SOLID Body Language (which includes Eye Contact and vocal tonality)
4. Smooth, ninja-like kinoescalation
5. Social savvy

IME you reach this state through experience, it's not something that's taught, per se. Some notes, in no particular order:

-It's a very efficient mode to operate from. You're not necessarily looking for anything on a given night, but if opportunities present themselves you act on them. Otherwise you're out having fun on your terms.

-When you get enough "IOIs," aka she's invested in your interaction, you kinoescalate smoothly. Now by smoothly I mean you do it out of the line-of-sight of her social circle, and you do it assertively but NOT aggressively. There's also an element of 2 steps forward/1 step back and pull/push. Everything is geared towards making her feel comfortable with you and PROTECTING HER FROM THE JUDGMENT OF HER FRIENDS.

-You figure out VERY QUICKLY if a girl is into you. I do this by testing her hands. THE HANDS NEVER LIE. EVER. If she's not in to me I just cut the interaction and move on. Saves me precious minutes of my life.

-If she's playing with my hands, IT'S ON. All I do from there is "lean back" psychologically and act like she's my girlfriend. As long as I remain outcome independent, "be cool" and lead the interaction then sex is a foregone conclusion in my mind, so I have nothing to stress about.

-My "game" nowadays is geared heavily towards Kino and Body Language. My Attraction stuff is just me being my charming, witty Self (banter, roleplay, misinterpretation, just "being fun"). I don't "try". My Rapport is super-duper dry and "deep" enough to ground me as a real person; it's the most boring shit you'll ever hear.

-An important note: My kino often runs counter to what I say, in a way (that good 'ol "pull/push" element again). For example I might tell a girl we'd TOTALLY not get along, but give her a warm hug at the same time (push her away with words, pull her in with kino). Another example might be my dry-ass Rapport, which I couple with more sensual kino (logical info vs. emotional connection, in a way).

A girl can have a flag over her head saying, "Lets bone tonight," and I wouldn't know. I'm sometimes oblivious to it. My first SNL happened when the girl said, "I live down the street. Come over. We'll grab a drink." As obvious as it sounds to you, I didn't realize we were going to go at it until she said, "Lets go to bed and pulled me by the hand into her room."

Don't worry you're not alone in your obliviousness. There are times even now when I don't "get it" in the moment, but upon reflection I *TOTALLY* missed the "go" signal.

I think this is where learning more about inference and wordplay helps. I'd like to think I'm somewhat well-read and have a good grasp of dry wit, double entendres and the like. It translates well to understanding how girls try to communicate, because the real message lies below the surface of the words she presents, usually.

Is there any compliance type testing you do with her? (Like that random routine, "Let me see your hands. Palms down." You lift up with her and on the way down, if she follows your hands, she's compliant. If not, she isn't.)

Or is it more of subtly playing with her hands and having her play back while you are interacting?

I used to do contrived hand tests like high-fives and palm reading. They served their purpose back then but now when I look back they're a bit... awkward.

I just gently grab her hand while talking about whatever. This is usually a couple of minutes into the interaction and I have an inkling that she might be into me. It's quick and off to the side of our bodies. I just grab and see what she does. If she leaves her hand there for a bit I'll squeeze it lightly to see what she does. Whatever reaction I get I let go and either escalate the interaction or end it.

XXXXX and XXXXX have seen me do it in-field, it doesn't look like anything special but it's a treasure-trove of information for me.

I don't make a big deal about it because it isn't a big deal. It's just communication on a more primal level.

What kinds of roleplay do you run with her? Is it subtly sexual like, "I'm prince charming and you're the naughty little princess," or blatantly sexual like, "I am the dungeon master and you're my obedient dungeoness in training." (I just made those up)

To be honest I don't roleplay THAT much because I suck at it. :-\ However I make up for this deficiency with my uber-1337 banter steez. B-)

Sometimes the situations to roleplay will make themselves apparent and I'll run with it but I don't force it, personally.

Would you clarify what you mean by "Dry-ass Rapport" and "logical info vs. emotional connection?"

Dry-ass Rapport
Well, you know how EVERY major PUA out there says to NOT ask The Boring Questions (aka, "Where are you from", "What do you do", "What are your hobbies")? I fly in the face of convention and ask that shit in Rapport. It's "not supposed to work" but I make that shit work because my kino is the real conversation, anyways; my words just ground me as a real person instead of as a Player. That way when she talks to her girlfriends later she can say, "Oh, he's a good guy. He does XYZ in Los Angeles. He used to live in ABC. His parents are here, blah blah."

logical info vs. emotional connection
That ties into the above, and really is about the concept of Contrast. I forget who taught me this but being able to convey contrasting (not conflicting, subtle distinction) information simultaneously is good. I extend this idea into my communication of logical information (Who I am, what I do) with emotional connection (playing with her hands, sensual kino on her back, kissing, etc).

It's a deeper topic that wiser minds than I can explain in greater detail.

For the direct sexual style, is it still best to set the venue bounce as, "Come over to check out some pictures at my place," or if I say, "You're coming over tonight. Lets go," - is that as, or more, effective?

You mean directly from the club to your pad? That can work. Personally I like to take them to get some food first. It's good for a number of reasons, IMO:

-EAT FOOD (duh!)
-Venue change
-Safe environment for them that isn't "the club" to be social in
-Become integrated with her group ("We" went out for food after the club)
-Quieter, "normal" environment to get more Rapport and kinoescalation in (under the table stuff, so hot)
-In my mind it's more reasonable to bounce a girl from a restaurant. Why? I dunno.

Openers and Closure

This day started pretty shitty.

I had to attend to work-related stuff pretty much from morning 'til early evening and it didn't put me in my Happy Place. After getting a massage (a legitimate one, you pervs) and relaxing in the apartment for a hot second I was idling at neutral, which was an improvement. ch0ng0 rolled through in the early evening and we went to grub at Hodori before starting out on the evening's adventures with the rest of the crew.

The original plan had us looking for some fun times in K-Town, but unfortunately those fun times come with a $$$ pricetag that none of us were willing to pay. As fate should have it the suggestion of J Lounge was agreeable to most everyone so that is where the Universe directed us.

After working some doorman magic (credit to D for the tips on how to get in without hassle) we slide in. Now it turns out this evening had a strong theme of openers and closure, which I'll explain thusly:

Openers
I'm not much of one for routine monkeying, but I do have some favorite lines that give me fodder to banter about. One of my favorite ones is pretty simple and works with savvy chicks:

ME: Hey, there you are! :-D

Ya, that's it. Impressive, I know. ;-)

The power lies in its simplicity and it opened one pair of girls like gangbusters. This pair of black girls that were staring at the huge TV projection on the wall of the building were fun, and I had ch0ng0 there to wing me.

I did my thing with the shorter of the two; there definitely was attraction on her part but I couldn't push things to a deeper level because she kept going on about her business (and the fact that I was a Web Dev and she needed one). Got the contact info, chatted a bit more, then bounced.

Closure
That girl from the prior post, M., showed up this particular evening as well with her roommate and other friends. She actually greeted me while I was standing at the bar waiting for drinks, but her hug was distant and polite. Hrrmm. Worthy of investigation, considering that she had been basically unresponsive to my texts earlier in the week.

Fast-forward the evening to later and I run into her group in the outdoor lounge area. Talk with her and come to find out she had just broken up with her BF this past week, which explained A LOT of the minor details I'd noticed in our prior encounter.

Fast-forward to the end of the evening. I run into her leaving J Lounge and ask her what she's up to this week, to which she says, "Right now is not a good time." Understandable, given the information I'd just gleaned, so I told her that once that drama stabilizes itself to call me, after which I bid her adieu. About all that can be done and still leave the window open for future encounters.

What you did well
My kinoescalation was on-point tonight.

My banter was en fuego.

I kept my cool with M., even in light of the breaking-up information. That's the only way to play that situation, even though it was difficult to remain outcome independent.

What you did wrong and could have done better
With the black chick I should've insta-dated sooner. There was a lull about 15 minutes into the conversation where I was trying to move her to a couch, but right as I was suggesting it her friend jumped in about having to get back to their friends.

Extra Comments
I thought this was classy of M.: While meeting her friends I finally got introduced to her roommate the weed-smoker. When her roommate asked if I was the same J____ that almost schtupt'd her last week M. said, "No that was a different J____".

An evening at S Bar and The Griffin

Logistics, logistics, logistics. Things like "getting IOIs" or "DHV'ing" or whatever bullshit are not my Sticking Point right now, everything keeps boiling down to the big "L" word. I'm very finely tuned into social interactions nowadays and I'm closer to running "Natural" game than I was 3 months ago. I have maybe 1 or 2 fun roleplaying openers that I keep in my back pocket but other than that I let my Body Language and Kino do the lion's share of the work for me. Now I just have to start finding girls that are local and down for some same-night sexytimes and I'll be golden.

Tonight was something of an interesting learning experience, albiet a touch frustrating. I'm trying to explore K-Town more (because of my irrational love of Korean women) and went to S Bar on Wilshire Blvd and New Hampshire Ave with my buddies Ulysses and S. If you've never been to this kind of bar before it's something akin to a hostess bar where the bartenders (who are all Asian women) pour your drinks, drink some of your alcohol, eat some of your food and generally entertain you. Tonight (Saturday) was actually kind of dead-- the only cute girls were behind the bar and that was a logistical challenge for me. I can't really kino across the bar easily so it makes getting the girls warmed up difficult. I need to find a spot at the bar where it opens up or something so I can stand next to them and get them hot and bothered to bounce later in the evening. I really dig a couple of the bartenders there and would ravish them in a New York Minute but I still haven't been able to crack the code yet, as it were. This'll be a pet project of mine for a while.

We eventually bounce from there to a new bar up in the Atwater Village area called The Griffin, which is something of a greaser rockabilly spot with a really chill vibe. We're chillin' in the smoking area and at one point I'm like, "Fuck this, I'm going to do the whole social butterfly thing" and bounce my way through the smoking area. Most of the sets end up dying for one reason or another until the very last set at the end of the evening (and at the end of the smoking patio, coincidentally).

I open the set with my tried-and-true, "Hey, do you have a light?" and I get the ball rolling. I eventually just start shooting the shit with all of them and try to get myself integrated with the group. Eventually 3 more of their friends show up, one of which is this STUNNING Vietnamese chick named V.T. Wow. We introduce ourselves to each other and I'm getting the vibe from her. I end up chatting up everyone else for a bit and eventually get drawn into a conversation with her sitting at the table.

From the moment we started talking I knew it was on. I was ramping the kino on her leg, under the table, while sitting in this dark spot of the bar. I was looking at her with strong Eye Contact ("Soul Gazing:" left eye to left eye) and going into some Medium Rapport stuff. I would've taken things further (feeling up her hands, her inner thigh, putting her hands in my lap, etc) but then I get cockblocked by her two friends that pull her into a conversation at the OTHER table. Blah. I go back to vibing with some of the guys at the table I was at for a bit.

Now at this point I have a decision to make: go for the day2 or the ONS. Given the logistics of her friends being there and whatnot I went for the day2. I stood up, went over to her table and chatted up her friend for a second before turning my attention to V.T. I straight up tell her, "Hey, I know you're with friends right now but I really would like to get to know you better since you seem like a cool chick. Let's get a coffee next week." From here logistics spanks me again:

-She lives in Huntington Beach, but is going to school at UC Santa Cruz (going back in 1 month)
-She has a live-in boyfriend
-She's working part-time at Fashion Island in Newport Beach (which is FAAAAAAAR from both my work and apartment)

I press for a meet-up (while kino'ing her back and arms away from prying eyes) and she seems to be giving it serious thought (eye-accessing cues down and to the left) but starts hemming and hawing about the points above. At that point it's do-or-die, since pressing for the ONS is more than a little difficult with all her friends there. I tell her this is her last chance since I was leaving (which is true), and she seems to consider it deeply one last time but ultimately backs out. Blah again. I say bye to everyone in the group and exit with grace.

3 feet from gold, man. 3 feet...

So, what did I learn tonight?

-Reinforced the fact that I'm a sexy bitch and chicks want to fuck me. w00t!
-Kinoescalate like there's no tomorrow but do it discreetly (i.e., under the table in a dark spot of the bar).
-"Soul Gazing" is the shit. I do this with everyone now but most especially with chicks. You can have the most DRY conversation in the world but you can basically eye-fuck each other in the middle of her friends. It's hot.
-Don't ignore her friends, integrate yourself with the group.

Ahh well, chalk this night up to experience.