Barnes & Noble at The Grove is my new spot

About a month ago in an effort to put myself "in the environment" more I've been making myself a regular at the Barnes & Noble at The Grove on a particular weekday evening that's free in my schedule. I've found that it's actually a great environment to be in for my purposes: there's Starbucks at my beck and call; I can catch up on reading The Four-Hour Work Week (I'm about halfway through but I plan on reading it twice so I can understand and apply the principles it's teaching); and there is a higher-than-average percentage of Korean girls that show up to study or drink coffee or whatever. Sometimes I'll even go here and shoot the shizzle with my buddy K. It's just such a perfect environment for relaxing in and meeting people. There's hardly any distractions, ample lighting and plenty of coffee to fuel those last stretches of chapter to cover. :-)

As far as girls I've approached here I've approached 3 so far (on separate occasions). All of them Direct yet friendly. None of them have panned out yet, but I figure that's a matter of the Pareto Principle at play (wow, say that five times fast). Here are the breakdowns...

The first one was on my way down past the magazine racks out the door. I saw this cute Asian chick browsing the People magazines, paused to see what her situation might've been (at that time of night and day of the week it's highly likely that she was on a date), took a deep breath and approached. Went Direct, got a smile, "Hi my name's Julie." We vibed for a hot minute before mentioning that she was on a date, actually (figures, but I don't let that stop me). While talking her date shows up, some Asian dude that's mad-dogging me for talking to his chick. I greet him with a warm smile and a hearty handshake to try and get him to relax but he's not having it. I vibe with the both of them for a little bit about whatever until my buddy K. rolls up and helps me close up shop on that interaction.

I don't think there's much more I could've done with this situation. If anything I needed to act a little faster so I could get a proper amount of Rapport time with her before her man showed up, but beyond that not much more. It was still an interaction I had to do because she caught my eye in that special way.

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Second interaction was while I was sitting up at the tables near the Starbucks. While chatting it up with my buddy K. I notice this TOTALLY MY TYPE Korean girl occupy the table right in my line-of-sight. Oh my God, she was firing on all cylinders sonnnnnn! At an appropriate lull in my conversation with K. I excuse myself, take a deep breath and approach. The vibe was electric for me (and I'm sure for her), it was pretty damn close to how the Movie Moment opener is done, energy-wise.

"Hey." :-) Her name was Eunice.

It was on. SO FVCKING ON.

Until her mom showed up 3 minutes later. :-\ I had to switch gears when Mommy showed up from sexual to fun/flirty and couldn't do much else with her while Mom was present. Eunice had a BF (which, again, I don't care about; if it's on, it's on, you'll find a way to make it happen for her and still keep her not feeling like a slut) and that, coupled with Mom's presence, pretty much ended things. She offered to give me her email but I don't do emails any more-- in the past they've lead to frustration and wasted effort on my part. I had to bid her "adieu". :-(

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The third one was the most recent one which involved a Literary Legal Eagle by the name of Olivia from OH (she's not Korean, btw). Again, I was chilling with K. and my other buddy S. shotting the shit when I notice this girl lug her backpack and large-ass literature books into a tiny side-table. At first I was kind of "ehh" about her-- it wasn't a bang-on-gut-reaction like with Eunice (above). The more glances I stole at her (at one point we even had good, solid eye contact) the more interested I became in her. After about 20 minutes (yeah, I know, sometimes I take too long) I get up and talk to her. 10 minutes of Rapport which was mutual flirting and sharing on both our parts. At the end when I go for the day2 close she breaks out the "I have a BF" which seemed genuine so I didn't press it further. She gave me her email address (which I don't ask for but if she's giving it, then fine), we shoot the shit for another minute or so, then I let her get back to studying.

There and balikbayan again

It's been ages since I've taken a proper vacation from work. In fact I don't recall ever taking a vacation of more than 3 days (aka "the long weekend") before college ended. That changed when I took a vacation with family to the Philippines recently for two weeks, partly to attend my cousin's wedding in Batangas, partly to lounge about doing nothing (or so I thought) in Cebu and Bohol. I learned a couple of things while I was out there, some of which I'll elucidate below.

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If you thought Asian girls in the 'States were shy, man, girls from the Philippines are even more shy. Shy and low self-esteem and surprised that a sexy Asian man (such as myself) would see anything in them worth getting to know. Now I'm not saying this to try and put them down or anything, God love 'em, but they make the whole "getting to know you" process a challenge, that's for certain. The whole time I was out there, every single girl I approached was shocked that I would want to talk to them. I remember one in particular verbalizing, "Why do you want to talk to me, I'm boring!" over and over again. It's kind of sad and yet also part of my challenge: I have to find that one special thing in her and show it the light of day and the brilliant light of my love *gag* ;-).

--oh yeah, Direct opening doesn't exist in the Philippines. No where. Even with the white folk vacationing there I'm 99% certain I'm the only guy in that whole frickin' nation with brass ones enough to approach a stranger and tell her she's cute and that I'd like to shag her rotten. I'd like to change that some day, but I digress...

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There are a lot of prostitutes in the Philippines, not all of which are necessarily of "legal" age. :-\ Despite all the advances in technology and economic growth the Philippines is still, by and large, a poor country (2nd world, or something close to it). Because of this and because of the large number of tourists that visit the beaches (on some of the islands) there's good money to be made in that profession.

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While I was there I spent most of my time with family or touring but in the precious moments when I could actually, you know, do what I wanted to (that's the point of a vacation, isn't it?) I was able to flirt with a couple of pinays. Here's the noteworthy ones:

1) While staying at a beach resort in Cebu I met this lil' cutey while she was sitting with her friends by the pool. It started with solid Eye Contact from a distance and a sly smile. From there it was all Presence and Eye Contact and some good kino. There was a language barrier (even though I understand Tagalog) so a lot of the interaction was broken Taglish, smiling and kino.

The main problem? Logistics, on both our parts. I was sharing a room with my family and she was there with a, ahem, "client". That didn't stop the fact that she was crazy attracted to me (I don't count specific IOIs any more, it's just a gut feeling based on her actions and I haven't been wrong yet). All we could do was flirt from afar and over text message. Ultimately the stars just didn't line up for us.

2) While killing some time at a mall in Cebu with my cousin and brother I saw this cute girl walk into the coffee shop we were in. After she bought her coffee and sat outside at a table I just said, "fvck it" and approached her Direct (yet friendly and relaxed). She was taken aback at first but started smiling and enjoying the interaction soon after.

This interaction was notable for me because I really pushed my kino with her, even kino'ing her legs and small of her back in broad daylight. When she'd call me on the kino I'd banter back with stuff like, "I'm not touching your back, you keep leaning into my hands! :-) If you keep that up I'm going to have to stop talking to you. ;-)" I would, of course, continue kinoescalating. :-)

If I had still been staying in Cebu that day I have no doubt I would've pulled her back to my hotel room. As it stands I was flying out that day with my family in an hour, so this one didn't go anywhere.

3) During my last couple of days in Manila I went with a couple of friends to a local strip club/karaoke bar. Now the way these strip club/k-bars work is, beyond the normal strip club below, there are karaoke rooms you can rent on the second floor. With these room rentals you have your choice of "female companion" taken from this large, aquarium-like viewing room (you need to see it to know what I mean, it's kind of funny).

The rude and the crude of it: you can spend time with the chick in the k-room and elect to pay an extra amount to rent a private room for an hour to schtup her. Most of my friends elected to do so. Why didn't I? Well, lemme tell ya...

The girl that I picked was... a challenge, to say the least. She looked young (well, all pinays look young) and she acted even younger. It wouldn't surprise me if she turned out to be around 16 years old, even though she said 18. She was very ticklish-- I mean, so ticklish that even placing my hand on her back made her laugh and pull away (she said that she was ticklish because she didn't know where my hands were). On top of all this was the language barrier.

So how did I handle it? Well I played it patiently and kept the energy light and fun-- there was a lot of word play (mostly through broken Taglish) and strong Eye Contact, and I eventually got her accustomed to my touch despite repeated push-off's. I took things to a sexual level by deliberately controlling her hands (with mine on top) and using them to touch herself. Eventually once everyone else left the room I took things all the way with her. She certainly wasn't ticklish by that point. ;-)

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All in all I really enjoyed my time in the Philippines. It was great to see my relatives and to flex my chick skills with the local talent. I may yet return one day, hopefully with more time to actually do what I want.

A New Year

Man, has it really been 3 months since I've posted to this blog? So much has happened in the interim that's noteworthy (well, at least to myself) I don't even know where to begin. I guess the best way to disseminate this information is too outline it and then go into the nit-grits in separate posts. :-)

• Went on vacation to the Philippines, had sexytimes
• Been going to the Barnes & Noble at The Grove regularly to read a book and flirt with girls
• Taught at another AoA weekend (sort of)

In terms of where my "game" is at, it's a LOT more natural than it was in months past. I owe a lot of it to hanging with my "natural" buddy, K., who I talk a LOT with about girls and "game" and all kinds of shizzle. It certainly gives me a good barometer to measure things against, plus he's just a cool motherfucker to hang with. To sum up where my "game" is:

• Less words in Attraction and Rapport
• More assertive kino right off the bat
• Tighter non-verbal communication (body language, eye contact, kino)
• Stronger "Frame" (if she's talking to me, she likes me, so it's "on" and I go for what I want)

As an aside to why I'm able to be more assertive and "bold":

If you've ever seen me or hung out with me you know that I tend to put off a "metrosexual" vibe. Part of this is being brought up in an Asian culture, part of it is being a Virgo (Virgos are a "mutable" sign, meaning they can play the Masculine or Feminine poles of a given relationship). Because I may not be percieved (outwardly) as overly-Masculine I can get away with some pretty crazy shit, kino-wise and verbally. I think this is also why Direct works so well for me-- there's a contrast of intense Masculine direction versus a more Feminine "vibe". Not saying I'm a girlie-man or anything, though, so fvck off. ;-)

In any case I'll be following up this post with more details of what's been my going-on lately in terms of chicks.

Happy New Year!

Yet Another Art of Rapport Weekend

If you didn't know (or just weren't made aware) I'm an Instructor for PickUp 101. It's not a bad gig, all things considered, but it's definitely not my main source of income at the moment. Right now I get a lot out of the "helping guys bring out their attractive, confident qualities in order to develop fulfilling, long-lasting relationships with women" aspect of things. That doesn't mean there isn't room for improvement for this company. Right now I'm trying to work with the higher-ups to help them reshape what the company is about and how to clean up their web presence so we can reach the right guys with a congruent message/image.

It's interesting how teaching actually makes me better at "pick up." Whoever coined the phrase, "Those that can, do. Those that can't teach." was obviously talking out of their ass because teachers, from my perspective, are the most complete package out there. The only way to really know a topic intimately is to be doing it yourself on a constant basis; complete mastery, however, really lies in your ability to pass that knowledge and wisdom on to others.

This particular weekend was for the Art of Rapport down here in the City of Angels. It was a decent-sized class of 6 students, with my buddy Robbie acting as Head Instructor and myself as the Lead Instructor. We were busy the entire weekend, with the really emotional, juicy stuff up front on Friday night and all the fun flirting with chicks in broad daylight on Saturday and Sunday.

I'm really proud of this batch of students. They picked up on concepts very quickly and not a one required more than a gentle nudge in the right direction (which, coincidentally, is towards cute girls) to get things movin'. My only wish for the weekend, really, was for more hours in the day so that this old dog can get his beauty rest. ;-)

Now my students weren't the only ones getting to flirt with cute girls; Daddy need his sugar, too, y'know. :-) I actually made a LOT of progress in terms of getting to Rapport with Asian chicks this weekend, since most times it's like pulling teeth with these girls. Two stories of note:

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1) Was in line at "The Farm" restaurant (next to the AMC) in The Grove and saw this cute Korean girl dressed in black and white in front of me. I go Direct (but I keep the energy light and playful) and vibe with her while walking her back to her car in the parking structure. When I go for the day2-close she seems hesitant with her body language and I call it out as such. That's when she tells me that she's actually getting married soon. :-\ I congratulate her on her pending marriage and bounce.

I'm not sure if this could've been handled better, really. Maybe a turn of phrase to make it more innocent for her to meet up with me? Like, "Hey you seem really cool, let's get a coffee next week and get to know each other better."

2) Was with one of the students in the Barnes & Noble on the third floor, just hanging out on the bannister that overlooks the other two floors below. While chillin' there I noticed this cute lil' Korean girl in a red halter top and big sunglasses going down the escalator towards the exit. I think for a second, then go down after her to talk with her.

She had a bit of a head start on me, though, and by the time I got down to street-level she had disappeared into the throngs of people milling about. :-( Not even 15 minutes after that, though, while walking towards Nordstrom's with my student I see her walking towards me! Well, can't let her get away twice now. :-)

I stop her and speak from the heart, saying something like, "Hey, I saw you in the Barnes & Noble and was trying to catch up to you. You're really cute, I had to meet you." She gave me the biggest smile ever, although I couldn't see what was going on behind those dark sunglasses she was wearing. We vibed for about 5 minutes until she got a phone call which kind of broke the interaction. :-\ I didn't get enough Comfort with her to warrant a day2-close and I don't take phone numbers for the sake of having them, so I let her go.

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All in all I had a good yet tiring weekend. Now if only I could eke out an extra hour or 4 of sleep tonight I'd be a happy clam.

Halloween Hijinks

You know, I'm not normally one to play "dress up" on Halloween. The whole idea of the "holiday" has lost its novelty on me; if I want to go out and have fun I can do that in my normal civilian clothing, thank you very much. :-)

This past All Hallow's Eve I ended up chillin' with my brother and good friend K. at this new (yet old) spot called LIFE on Wilshire Blvd and Crescent Heights Blvd. I had heard about it through some email list I'm on (I forget which one. Thrillist? Yelp? One of those...) Now it just so happens that this particular evening LIFE was also hosting a social mixer with the organization lafun.org. Color me pleasantly suprised when I walk into LIFE and am greeted by several dozen scantily-costume-clad Asian women from the lafun.org list. :-) Now THAT'S how you start the evening off right!

I opened a couple of groups just warming up my social muscles and ended up talking with a girl at the bar, B., who was part of a larger group of Asian girls that weren't in-costume (for whatever reason). We vibe for a bit and I attempt to see if she'll comply with me by saying I'm going outside for a smoke. She agrees but for whatever reason she doesn't follow. I'm not about to hang around waiting for this chick so I bounce outside, greeting random people and groups along the way.

Later in the evening I end up reopening the group with my buddy K. winging me. That buys me some time to get some one-on-one time with B. For whatever reason she's super closed-off and shy, and she keeps insisting that she's boring. I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt but after a while I started believing her.

I decided to go and talk to the rest of her group after that; the whole group was composed of cute Asian girls so it's a win-win proposition for me. :-) I play around with one of the girls, V., basically amping Attraction, taking photos, kinoing the shit out of her. Good times.

I eventually switch gears to E. who was quiet most of the time our group was mingling with theirs. She was the token Korean of the group, I guess, and you know how I am with Korean girls... :-] I end up talking with her and dropping things into Rapport and developing a connection with her, which is always good times. It turns out I kind of dig this chick for more than her looks. Go figure, right? ;-) I set up tentative day2 plans with her (due to her schedule conflicting with mine; November's a zany time for me right now), did a little phone game with her on-the-spot to get the first phone call awkwardness out of the way, then kept talking to her and getting to know her.

So to recap: Went to LIFE; had a blast with my brother and good friend; and got a tentative day2 with a cute Korean chick. Muy bueno. :-)

Giveth and taketh away

You know sometimes the Universe perplexes me. It will both give you a gift and then take it away in the same breath and somehow I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned in there somewhere.

So yesterday I was running around (literally) doing some minor errands when I decided to stop by the Robek's near my apartment. While there I spot this cute Korean chick hop in line at Robek's right after I finish. I go outside and chill for a second since Robek's is LOUD and experience has taught me to exercise some patience in such situations. After a couple minutes she exits Robek's which gives me a chance at a better look at her. She's not the typical kind of Korean I go for -- she's thick (not fat, as evidenced by her waist and stomach; more along the lines of Reubenesque) -- but she has a cute face and she certainly knows how to move.

She sits down at a table outside with her books and her cup of ice cream. Cool. I stand up and approach her, get her smiling and laughing a bit, and start the dance of getting to know her.

Now here's the rub which I've been experiencing lately to a high degree: I go for the day2 and she's basicaly got a booked schedule. This particular girl works 2 jobs and is studying for her MCATs and only has free time after 11:00pm, MAYBE. I back off and go back into a Rapport conversation then revisit the idea of us hanging out again, to which she's still unable to offer a better solution. I take her phone number, chat for another minute, then bid her adieu.

What is it with the Universe giving me awesome chicks that I like and then making it near-impossible for me to see them? Seriously. I don't get it. To say its frustrating would be understating things.

I don't even have a real solution for this problem, to be honest. I've had to cut bait on several other chicks in recent memory because of scheduling conflicts and it sucks since I don't find THAT many chicks Attractive in that gut-level sense of the word. With this particular Korean chick I *could* try to set something up for after 11pm but that's a long shot because, hey, I have a life I have to lead too.

HurryDate at Ritual

Since my schedule's been pretty tight at work I'd decided to explore other avenues of socializing. A friend had to told me about HurryDate and I decided to give it a whirl; I'd never done speed dating before and want to check it out. This particular event was being held at Ritual, where White Lotus used to be.

"But J," you may ask, "aren't you a PUA that can bed HB11's at the drop of a dime?" </sarcasm> I'll be the first to admit that recently the girls I've been interacting with in bars and lounges have been... less-than-ideal for a myriad number of reasons. Maybe it's the environment, maybe it's them, who knows. I thought this would be fun to try out and see how the quality of girls at an event like this is.

I'll say this much for the events I've gone to so far (tonight included): it's a crap shoot. Of the 20-some-odd girls that were there maybe 4 of them were attractive physically. I talked to all 4 of those chicks and there was just something... not there. I can't put my finger on it. It may be that the type of girls that speed date are either (A) too busy to socialize normally or (B) are peculiar in some other fashion that prevents them from being social on a regular basis. In any case the 4 cute chicks all had personality quirks that just didn't do it for me:

1. Reagan (yes like the ex-president): Just a weird personality. Very abrasive, negative, odd.
2. Abi (sp?): Hot Iranian chick. Libra. The sparks just weren't there.
3. Evelyn: Asian Dental Hygenist from Monrovia. Boring.
4. M____ (I forgot her name): too quiet, was like pulling teeth trying to get some Rapport with her. Arguably the hottest chick at the event. Tall, blonde, late 20's. Marketing consultant that lived in some city near the 5 and 170 freeway.

All in all I'm pleased with myself for trying this out and being social tonight to try and make up for the hot Korean that walked in and out of my life TWICE this afternoon. Confused I need to take this momentum and carry it into the weekend. Hopefully work won't sap my mojo.