Overcoming the sexuality barrier

I'll be the first to admit I still have plenty to learn about dating Korean women. There's a lot of socio-religious programming to overcome, on top of their cultural timidity. Once we're having relations everything's gravy, but getting there... getting there's the trick.

One of the major hurdles I face with every new k-girl I take on a date is crossing the sexuality barrier. It's still an area that I'm feeling out and have had some minor successes with. IME a lot of what's worked for me is talking about sex in a circular fashion-- if I can get them thinking about sex and me at the same time then I'm in good shape. :-)

For example, with one of the girls I'm currently dating (but have not yet slept with; that's in the mail, though) I lead the conversation towards sex and relationships innocently enough: I asked her what the korean word for "kiss" is (it's "kiss," aptly enough), which lead to a conversation about dirty words in English and in Korean (she was really adamant about NOT teaching me the really dirty words).

That conversation got me thinking about kissing her, so I told her I was thinking of kissing her (not that I would kiss her RIGHT THEN, just that I was thinking about it). She got SUPER shy/self-conscious at that point, so I switched topics to something lighter.

Later on while dropping her off at her place the mood felt right in our parting conversation, so I asked if she wanted to kiss me goodbye. She didn't say "no," she just kind of sat there, so I slowly lead her into a little makeout session in the darkness of my car. I stopped it after a couple of minutes because logistics weren't right (busy work week) and let her go on her merry way.

Dollars to donuts we're probably going to hook up on date numero tres if I can lock down the logistics so we have privacy. Maybe she'll teach me some dirty Korean words then. :-D

...and for those that are counting, we've known each other for a grand total of 4 hours now. Not that it matters THAT much, but the bean counters like that kind of info. ;-)

I'm curious to hear what you've found works best for you. Please post your stories in the comments!

Asian people: by the numbers

I'm sure some of you have heard this concept discussed in other places, but it bears repeating for those that are still oblivious to it.

There are three kinds of Asian people:

• v1.0: The "Fresh Off the Boat"-ers, aka "Fobs"
• v1.5: Those born & raised in an Asian country but emigrated to the US later in life
  
• v2.0: Those born and raised in the US with a healthy exposure to Western culture and values; this encompasses a wide range of "Degrees of Not-Asian-ness" from Abercrombie-wearing bananas to Hip-Hop-influenced "blasians"
  

In terms of hitting on Asian girls my experience has shown that any given girl will react in a VASTLY different manner based on:

• Your ethnicity (and if applicable, what "version" of Asian you are)
  
• The environment
• Friends they have in their immediate vicinity

A general rule of thumb that I follow when hitting on Asian girls is to assume they're v1.0 and treat the situation with kid gloves until I'm proven wrong.

In the daytime I usually test the waters with something innocuous, like commenting on something they're wearing or something they're buying. Other times, when I get that "whoah" feeling I'll approach them directly but with a soft edge; the last thing I want to do is freak them out by coming on too strong (trust me, I've done this enough times to learn to dial down the strong sexual vibe initially).

At night, well... that depends on the venue. One of the places I love to hate going to is J-Lounge in Downtown LA. It's a beautiful bar/restaurant but the social shields with the groups of Asians that go here are up full blast here UNLESS it happens to be a mixed crowd that night (which is rare). The only times I've had some measure of success here (phone #'s, make-outs, etc) have involved either non-Asians or v2.0 K-girls. I've also noticed that if you're Not-Asian (white, black, latino) being more direct with your intentions is accepted more readily (although you still have an uphill battle with breaking into their social circle). If you're Asian (like me), no matter what version you are, you are facing a really tough social interaction. Period. Just accept this fact ahead of time and don't get mad/frustrated if you don't get anywhere with Asian girls in a nightclub.

So what's a man to do to get an edge?

• Be a nice guy (but not The Nice Guy) and soften your edge a bit. Asian girls scare easily, even v2.0 ones
• Learn a couple of words of their language. You'd be surprised how knowing how far saying "You're cute" in Korean (Ee' pu da, in case you were curious), Japanese and/or Chinese can take you. Just apologize profusely for mangling their language ahead of time and you'll be fine

What are your experiences hitting on Asian girls? How right or wrong am I?

Dusting off this blog

Real quickly (because I'm at work)--

I'm dusting off this blog to start recording my experiences dating and interacting with Korean women.

I used to approach this from a very "Game" based perspective, which I've since outgrown. From here on in my posts will be worded in terms any man can understand because, ultimately, "knowing how to k-close an HB9 by spiking her BT until she gives you DDB" is not as cool or fulfilling as you think it is; I'd much rather have a fun evening being Present with a cute Korean girl that makes me smile. I hope the same is true for you. :-)

I'll be posting some recent thoughts later this week.

Direct Sexual Game: My Two Cents

On one of the message boards I frequent a question of how to develop "Direct Sexual" game came up. Now personally I've been paring down elements of what I do in relation to girls, discarding what doesn't work and keeping what does. My $0.02 from that discussion board follows:

My current style is very playful indirect and I want to try out a very sexual direct style.

The Sexual BT seems lacking. We may makeout, but I don't often feel the "I want to take it back to your place" vibe.

What's your end goal for any given interaction? Is it the club makeout? Or is it to take a girl home? The two goals are mutually exclusive, IME.

Here's another angle to look at things: How slutty are you making the girl look in front of her friends? That's a more direct correlation to whether you'll be taking her home that night. If you're having sloppy makeout sessions in the middle of her group I can almost guarantee you won't be taking her home.

After an interaction and exchange of contact information, they come out for a Day 2 because I hype it up like crazy and they know they will have a good time with me. They come back to my place and sex happens with no LMR. If not on the Day 2, then usually by Day 3.

It feels like they say to themselves, "It just happened," instead of "I couldn't wait to fuck him."

I don't see where the problem lies here. You should be removing all responsibility for the sex from their shoulders anyways. "Plausible deniability" and all that, at least on the surface. It's easier for girls to explain to their girlfriends that "it just happened," so just run with it.

Girls know EXACTLY what they're doing when they enter your house, when they ALLOW you to use their bathroom "real quick", when they join you "just for a quick drink." They're not stupid, BUT they DO need to still "save face" to prevent being branded with the Scarlet Letter.

If you have found experiences or successes with a Sexual Direct style, would you give me some pointers?

Anything from openers, lines/routines, body language, tonality, things to do on Day 2's, conversation styles, mindset, and/or anything else you feel is relevant is appreciated. I'm open to everything and am all ears.

IMO, "Sexual Direct" is where everyone's game should be evolving towards. There are no "openers" or routines, you simply "Are."

The ingredients, IME:

1. ROCK-SOLID Inner Game
2. Outcome Independence (which is tied in to Inner Game)
3. SOLID Body Language (which includes Eye Contact and vocal tonality)
4. Smooth, ninja-like kinoescalation
5. Social savvy

IME you reach this state through experience, it's not something that's taught, per se. Some notes, in no particular order:

-It's a very efficient mode to operate from. You're not necessarily looking for anything on a given night, but if opportunities present themselves you act on them. Otherwise you're out having fun on your terms.

-When you get enough "IOIs," aka she's invested in your interaction, you kinoescalate smoothly. Now by smoothly I mean you do it out of the line-of-sight of her social circle, and you do it assertively but NOT aggressively. There's also an element of 2 steps forward/1 step back and pull/push. Everything is geared towards making her feel comfortable with you and PROTECTING HER FROM THE JUDGMENT OF HER FRIENDS.

-You figure out VERY QUICKLY if a girl is into you. I do this by testing her hands. THE HANDS NEVER LIE. EVER. If she's not in to me I just cut the interaction and move on. Saves me precious minutes of my life.

-If she's playing with my hands, IT'S ON. All I do from there is "lean back" psychologically and act like she's my girlfriend. As long as I remain outcome independent, "be cool" and lead the interaction then sex is a foregone conclusion in my mind, so I have nothing to stress about.

-My "game" nowadays is geared heavily towards Kino and Body Language. My Attraction stuff is just me being my charming, witty Self (banter, roleplay, misinterpretation, just "being fun"). I don't "try". My Rapport is super-duper dry and "deep" enough to ground me as a real person; it's the most boring shit you'll ever hear.

-An important note: My kino often runs counter to what I say, in a way (that good 'ol "pull/push" element again). For example I might tell a girl we'd TOTALLY not get along, but give her a warm hug at the same time (push her away with words, pull her in with kino). Another example might be my dry-ass Rapport, which I couple with more sensual kino (logical info vs. emotional connection, in a way).

A girl can have a flag over her head saying, "Lets bone tonight," and I wouldn't know. I'm sometimes oblivious to it. My first SNL happened when the girl said, "I live down the street. Come over. We'll grab a drink." As obvious as it sounds to you, I didn't realize we were going to go at it until she said, "Lets go to bed and pulled me by the hand into her room."

Don't worry you're not alone in your obliviousness. There are times even now when I don't "get it" in the moment, but upon reflection I *TOTALLY* missed the "go" signal.

I think this is where learning more about inference and wordplay helps. I'd like to think I'm somewhat well-read and have a good grasp of dry wit, double entendres and the like. It translates well to understanding how girls try to communicate, because the real message lies below the surface of the words she presents, usually.

Is there any compliance type testing you do with her? (Like that random routine, "Let me see your hands. Palms down." You lift up with her and on the way down, if she follows your hands, she's compliant. If not, she isn't.)

Or is it more of subtly playing with her hands and having her play back while you are interacting?

I used to do contrived hand tests like high-fives and palm reading. They served their purpose back then but now when I look back they're a bit... awkward.

I just gently grab her hand while talking about whatever. This is usually a couple of minutes into the interaction and I have an inkling that she might be into me. It's quick and off to the side of our bodies. I just grab and see what she does. If she leaves her hand there for a bit I'll squeeze it lightly to see what she does. Whatever reaction I get I let go and either escalate the interaction or end it.

XXXXX and XXXXX have seen me do it in-field, it doesn't look like anything special but it's a treasure-trove of information for me.

I don't make a big deal about it because it isn't a big deal. It's just communication on a more primal level.

What kinds of roleplay do you run with her? Is it subtly sexual like, "I'm prince charming and you're the naughty little princess," or blatantly sexual like, "I am the dungeon master and you're my obedient dungeoness in training." (I just made those up)

To be honest I don't roleplay THAT much because I suck at it. :-\ However I make up for this deficiency with my uber-1337 banter steez. B-)

Sometimes the situations to roleplay will make themselves apparent and I'll run with it but I don't force it, personally.

Would you clarify what you mean by "Dry-ass Rapport" and "logical info vs. emotional connection?"

Dry-ass Rapport
Well, you know how EVERY major PUA out there says to NOT ask The Boring Questions (aka, "Where are you from", "What do you do", "What are your hobbies")? I fly in the face of convention and ask that shit in Rapport. It's "not supposed to work" but I make that shit work because my kino is the real conversation, anyways; my words just ground me as a real person instead of as a Player. That way when she talks to her girlfriends later she can say, "Oh, he's a good guy. He does XYZ in Los Angeles. He used to live in ABC. His parents are here, blah blah."

logical info vs. emotional connection
That ties into the above, and really is about the concept of Contrast. I forget who taught me this but being able to convey contrasting (not conflicting, subtle distinction) information simultaneously is good. I extend this idea into my communication of logical information (Who I am, what I do) with emotional connection (playing with her hands, sensual kino on her back, kissing, etc).

It's a deeper topic that wiser minds than I can explain in greater detail.

For the direct sexual style, is it still best to set the venue bounce as, "Come over to check out some pictures at my place," or if I say, "You're coming over tonight. Lets go," - is that as, or more, effective?

You mean directly from the club to your pad? That can work. Personally I like to take them to get some food first. It's good for a number of reasons, IMO:

-EAT FOOD (duh!)
-Venue change
-Safe environment for them that isn't "the club" to be social in
-Become integrated with her group ("We" went out for food after the club)
-Quieter, "normal" environment to get more Rapport and kinoescalation in (under the table stuff, so hot)
-In my mind it's more reasonable to bounce a girl from a restaurant. Why? I dunno.

Velvet Room

Time/Date
Saturday, 05/03/08, 10:30pm - 2:00am

Location
Velvet Room, K-Town

Logistics
Rolling with some new Korean friends

The shizzle that went bizzle
Asian girls, by and large, are socially inept. God bless 'em and all that, but man, I've had better connections with a wall than I've gotten with the girls tonight...

I was invited out by some new Korean friends I made to a booking club here in Koreatown called Velvet Room. Now, for those of you that aren't familiar with booking clubs, this is how they work:

In Korean culture it's more "proper" to be introduced by a stranger to someone else than to cold approach and booking clubs exemplify this to a horrific degree. The idea is that you rent a table or booth for the evening and your waiter can "book" girls to come to your table, drink your alcohol, eat your decorate fruit platter, and/or talk with you. Now, by "book" I mean forcibly drag girls that aren't necessarily willing to your table of dudes. The waiters earn tips for the girls that they book for you-- more traffic = more money for him/her.

TOTALLY not my style. :-\

Now this particular booking club was actually pretty fly-- the interior is large and it's FULL of tables and booths. There's a large dance floor in the middle, private rooms in the back, and a smoking patio on the side.

The environment is LOUD. Imagine the loudest club you've ever been to, then pump it up another 15% in decibel-levels. As you can imagine this makes any verbal game a near impossibility, never mind the potential language barriers.

The girls are HOT. I know many of you may think that Asian girls have no ass and no boobs, but one look at the talent here and it'd prove you wrong VERY quickly. All the girls are dressed to the 9's and tend to travel in packs for safety.

Now, in terms of my results, here's how it went down for me:

0 for 25 for the evening, with only ONE girl even potentially hooking (but it was at the end of the night and she was there with some dudes and her girl friends waiting for their cars).

Did I mention that Asian girls are socially inept? :-\

Direct Game didn't pan out for me because of the environment-- all the waiters manhandle the girls there, so things like opening with kino or going Direct are an uphill battle because the girls will just lump you into the "drunk asshole" category fairly quickly.

Situational stuff didn't pan out either-- even in the smoking patio where I could actually talk only two girls were receptive and those shut down with the quickness once their friends got involved. Every other set was cooooold. Frigid. Even when I came in friendly, I got shut down faster than a... a... I don't even have a word for it. Frustration City.

The only avenue that I think can bear any fruit in this environment--

Dance Floor Game.

The girls seemed more receptive on the dance floor when I went to shake my groove thing but I had to tend to my friends more often than not which dragged me off the floor. I'm willing to explore this angle more for this environment since all my other usual tactics bore no fruit.

If you want to meet Asian girls at night, I DO NOT recommend this type of venue. Everything is working against you. The only reason I'd go back is to explore Dance Floor Game and see what that bears.

What I did good
I walked out of dead/dying sets very quickly. When girls copped attitude I just shut down the interaction and went on to the next group. I stretched my dancing muscles a bit and learned a little more about just not giving a fuck on the dance floor.

I made some new connections with Korean guys that are familiar with K-Town. We'll see how those pan out.

What I could've done better
Danced more?

Extra comments
I gotta say I'm a little bit more disillusioned about Asian girls now after this night. A SHIT-TON of work for little return in this environment and just in general. I personally don't have the time nor inclination to work the social circle angle.

Time to start checking out more racially-diverse environments.

Openers and Closure

This day started pretty shitty.

I had to attend to work-related stuff pretty much from morning 'til early evening and it didn't put me in my Happy Place. After getting a massage (a legitimate one, you pervs) and relaxing in the apartment for a hot second I was idling at neutral, which was an improvement. ch0ng0 rolled through in the early evening and we went to grub at Hodori before starting out on the evening's adventures with the rest of the crew.

The original plan had us looking for some fun times in K-Town, but unfortunately those fun times come with a $$$ pricetag that none of us were willing to pay. As fate should have it the suggestion of J Lounge was agreeable to most everyone so that is where the Universe directed us.

After working some doorman magic (credit to D for the tips on how to get in without hassle) we slide in. Now it turns out this evening had a strong theme of openers and closure, which I'll explain thusly:

Openers
I'm not much of one for routine monkeying, but I do have some favorite lines that give me fodder to banter about. One of my favorite ones is pretty simple and works with savvy chicks:

ME: Hey, there you are! :-D

Ya, that's it. Impressive, I know. ;-)

The power lies in its simplicity and it opened one pair of girls like gangbusters. This pair of black girls that were staring at the huge TV projection on the wall of the building were fun, and I had ch0ng0 there to wing me.

I did my thing with the shorter of the two; there definitely was attraction on her part but I couldn't push things to a deeper level because she kept going on about her business (and the fact that I was a Web Dev and she needed one). Got the contact info, chatted a bit more, then bounced.

Closure
That girl from the prior post, M., showed up this particular evening as well with her roommate and other friends. She actually greeted me while I was standing at the bar waiting for drinks, but her hug was distant and polite. Hrrmm. Worthy of investigation, considering that she had been basically unresponsive to my texts earlier in the week.

Fast-forward the evening to later and I run into her group in the outdoor lounge area. Talk with her and come to find out she had just broken up with her BF this past week, which explained A LOT of the minor details I'd noticed in our prior encounter.

Fast-forward to the end of the evening. I run into her leaving J Lounge and ask her what she's up to this week, to which she says, "Right now is not a good time." Understandable, given the information I'd just gleaned, so I told her that once that drama stabilizes itself to call me, after which I bid her adieu. About all that can be done and still leave the window open for future encounters.

What you did well
My kinoescalation was on-point tonight.

My banter was en fuego.

I kept my cool with M., even in light of the breaking-up information. That's the only way to play that situation, even though it was difficult to remain outcome independent.

What you did wrong and could have done better
With the black chick I should've insta-dated sooner. There was a lull about 15 minutes into the conversation where I was trying to move her to a couch, but right as I was suggesting it her friend jumped in about having to get back to their friends.

Extra Comments
I thought this was classy of M.: While meeting her friends I finally got introduced to her roommate the weed-smoker. When her roommate asked if I was the same J____ that almost schtupt'd her last week M. said, "No that was a different J____".

A pleasant evening at J Lounge

After a full day of sorting receipts and old paperwork in my apartment I needed to get out and meet women. Sent out the bat-signal and linked up with D and his friends at J Lounge in Downtown LA.

This particular evening J Lounge was a touch on the lightly populated side but nothing I couldn't work with. The real challenge of the evening lay in the fact that it was 95% Asians in mostly large birthday groups, which means lots of light social hopping, mostly talking to the guys of the groups to see if something hooks.†

During the course of the evening in the outdoor patio I was using that OTHER universal opener, "Do you have a light?" If you're a smoker (which I am, from time to time) it'll work for you, especially if you don't really care who you get a light from. At one point I asked for a light from this girl that had been talking to D and his friends earlier in the evening and we hit it off conversationally. I wasn't "running game" or trying anything, really, I was just being my lovable, charming self. B-) Eventually her two friends drag her off inside J Lounge, so I wrote that one off as just a pleasant conversation.

Fast-forward 30 minutes: I was chatting up this Asian couple near one of the heat lamps when, out of the blue, the chick from the paragraph above comes up and tells the couple, "He's such a cool guy!" and gives me a hug.

Huh. Okay, I can run with this. :-) She was cute enough so I wanted to see where this led.

The girl (let's call her M.) is a bit quirky-- she's Korean but adopted by Caucasian parents, so the conversation was like talking with a nerdy white girl (which I can dig). She qualified herself A LOT, and I just kind of led the conversation and let her fill in the gaps, busted on her with banter from time to time and rewarded her with kino when appropriate. She eventually re-introduced me to her friends, who apparently were talking to this trio of Asian guys. I wasn't sure what the relationship was so I played it cool and social, but sticking next to M. to ramp kino and talk with her.

Eventually the trio of guys wants to buy the other two girls shots (which turns into buying all of us shots. Yay free alcohol!). I lead M. by the hand up the stairs to the main bar and start hand-testing while walking through the dark bar. She reciprocated (finger-play is soooo hot), so at that point (in my brain) I knew taking things to an intimate level was a foregone conclusion, I just needed to (A) play it cool, (B) kinoescalate and (C) don't fuck up.

We get our shots, we hit the dance floor. M. is grindin' on me, and life is good-- until one of the trio fucks up with one of the other girls and ruins the vibe. Now, this whole time I'm trying to find a way to bounce the girls with me and ditch the trio (I'm sure they're nice guys, but they were fvcking with my mojo). Eventually I get the other two girls to agree to go get some food in K-Town and we lose the guys (or so I thought).

M. and I get to a restaurant in K-Town and wait for her two friends to show up. They eventually get there, but somehow the trio followed us here which makes for an awkward dining experience. One guy is trying way too hard to game one of the girls, and it makes me sad for the guy, because the girl is blatantly not interested. We get our grub on while the farce of a conversation continues in front of us, with M. feeding me spoonfuls of food now and again.

M. gets a bit of a tummy-ache from eating too much and she wants to bounce. A bit of a wrinkle, but that's OK because I was trying to remain as outcome-independent as possible, mentally. We bid her friends and the trio adieu and I drive her back to her place. When we get there I make the excuse of needing to use her bathroom and she agrees to it.

I make my way into a darkened apartment and from an adjacent room I hear her roommate ask if she picked up some weed. I quietly make my way past her roommate's room and into M.'s room, take a leak, and come out to an already-changed-for-bed M. She says I gotta go, and I verbally agree, and make out with her anyways. :-D In between bouts of making out I just talk about random stuff and set up a time for tomorrow to link up. I push things pretty far physically but eventually get a genuine "Stop," and so I do. I quietly make my way to her front door, get a little more sugar for daddy and then I'm out like Shout™.

†If you don't have experience dealing with Asian social circles, let me tell you that you pretty much HAVE to work the guys of the group first and get them to integrate you into their social circle. It eats up a lot of time and you're going to talk to a LOT of people that you don't necessarily want to meet but 'dems the breaks if you want to get to the Asian girls in these scenarios.

Pickup 101's Real World Rapport Seminar

In a word: phenomenal.

I got a lot of personal value out of this weekend, despite Friday being a rehash of a lot of the stuff I teach in AoR. Personally, seeing and hearing Zan Perrion do his thing on-stage was worth the price of admission alone. I was also fortunate enough to get some one-on-one time with Decker from Authentic Man Program that really opened me up to what I'd been shielding in my heart for so long; to say it was an eye-opening experience wouldn't be a thorough enough explanation, it literally tore me open emotionally and rocked my world (in a good way).

Here's a brief recap of what the weekend was structured to be about:

The Pickup 101 Real World Rapport Seminar was basically an all-levels seminar that gave a wide -- yet thorough -- overview of that component of many mens' game that is sorely lacking: Connection. The intent of the weekend was to explain the many facets of that initial "get to know you" phase that all relationships go through and how to create deeper connections faster, in a more "natural" way*. Most people beat around the bush when connecting to others, mostly out of fear of rejection. What we teach in AoR -- and what was reinforced this weekend -- is that you, as the Man, have to be the leader in ALL aspects of the relationship, INCLUDING when becoming vulnerable. You have to be the stronger person and must lead people (guys or girls) into vulnerability.

We had several guest speakers that weekend:
-J-Dog (of VH-1's "The Pickup Artist")
-Carlos Xuma
-Eric "Disco" M. (PU101 Instructor, NYC badass)
-Dave Wygant (who the movie "Hitch" is based on)
-Brent Smith (of DYD fame)
-Dave M. (Internet dating guru)
-Grant Adams
-Zan Perrion (the motherfvcking man, IMO)
-Decker

Each of them were interwoven into the overall presentation and played to their strengths. For example David Wygant was brought on-stage on Friday to help demo some daytime openers (along with several PU101 Instructors) which were entertaining to say the least. David's got a definite gift for situational banter and he plays it to the 9's. Another example: Zan was brought on to talk about his overall inner game beliefs (it's all about being Curious and fascinated with Beauty found in Life, in all its forms) and to also demo how his day2's go (they're surprisingly bland, on the surface, but when you watch his body language and eye contact coupled with his curiosity about the girl it's $$$).

I even got my 15 minutes of fame this weekend, in two ways. The first way was when I was on-stage for an "Instant Insight©" exercise (basically cold-reading people, but with an important twist) and got to explain some of the more abstract, higher-level thinking behind why you'd want to have Instant Insight with people (especially girls). To be honest I was kind of nervous being on stage and being filmed but once I started speaking all that vanished and I felt that I was really getting through to the audience. The second half of my 15 minutes of fame came with a "backstage behind-the-scenes" videotaping session I had with Decker. This is where I had my eye-opening experience. I won't go into more detail here... I'll just say get the DVD when it comes out and see the results for yourself. :-)

My favorite part of the weekend, though, occurred after the event was done. I got the chance to kick it with Zan, Lance and company afterwards and pick their brains and just sit in their presence. It sounds geeky-fanboy to say so but it was cool for me mostly because I was sitting there was, more or less, a peer, versus just one year ago where I was just a student.

When this product launches I wholeheartedly suggest you pick it up. NO OTHER PICK UP COMPANY teaches Rapport/Connection the way WE do and this weekend was living proof of that. There's NO OTHER product out there that teaches this, and it's sad because this is the REAL MEAT of any meaningful relationship.

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*There seems to be a shift going on in the pickup community towards a more "natural" style that relies FAR LESS on long scripted routines, NLP and other weird stuff and relies more on cultivating strong "inner game" and embracing your sexual desires and love for the Feminine. PU101's stuff has been going in that direction for some time now, but I'm thinking that there's going to be a breakthrough in the community towards the next stage of "pick up" within the next year or so. There's only so many times you can ask a person "Who lies more-- men or women?" before it starts to wear thin. My hope: the next evolution of "pick up" will focus more on inner game first; if the foundation is strong, building the house is simple. :-)

Barnes & Noble at The Grove is my new spot

About a month ago in an effort to put myself "in the environment" more I've been making myself a regular at the Barnes & Noble at The Grove on a particular weekday evening that's free in my schedule. I've found that it's actually a great environment to be in for my purposes: there's Starbucks at my beck and call; I can catch up on reading The Four-Hour Work Week (I'm about halfway through but I plan on reading it twice so I can understand and apply the principles it's teaching); and there is a higher-than-average percentage of Korean girls that show up to study or drink coffee or whatever. Sometimes I'll even go here and shoot the shizzle with my buddy K. It's just such a perfect environment for relaxing in and meeting people. There's hardly any distractions, ample lighting and plenty of coffee to fuel those last stretches of chapter to cover. :-)

As far as girls I've approached here I've approached 3 so far (on separate occasions). All of them Direct yet friendly. None of them have panned out yet, but I figure that's a matter of the Pareto Principle at play (wow, say that five times fast). Here are the breakdowns...

The first one was on my way down past the magazine racks out the door. I saw this cute Asian chick browsing the People magazines, paused to see what her situation might've been (at that time of night and day of the week it's highly likely that she was on a date), took a deep breath and approached. Went Direct, got a smile, "Hi my name's Julie." We vibed for a hot minute before mentioning that she was on a date, actually (figures, but I don't let that stop me). While talking her date shows up, some Asian dude that's mad-dogging me for talking to his chick. I greet him with a warm smile and a hearty handshake to try and get him to relax but he's not having it. I vibe with the both of them for a little bit about whatever until my buddy K. rolls up and helps me close up shop on that interaction.

I don't think there's much more I could've done with this situation. If anything I needed to act a little faster so I could get a proper amount of Rapport time with her before her man showed up, but beyond that not much more. It was still an interaction I had to do because she caught my eye in that special way.

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Second interaction was while I was sitting up at the tables near the Starbucks. While chatting it up with my buddy K. I notice this TOTALLY MY TYPE Korean girl occupy the table right in my line-of-sight. Oh my God, she was firing on all cylinders sonnnnnn! At an appropriate lull in my conversation with K. I excuse myself, take a deep breath and approach. The vibe was electric for me (and I'm sure for her), it was pretty damn close to how the Movie Moment opener is done, energy-wise.

"Hey." :-) Her name was Eunice.

It was on. SO FVCKING ON.

Until her mom showed up 3 minutes later. :-\ I had to switch gears when Mommy showed up from sexual to fun/flirty and couldn't do much else with her while Mom was present. Eunice had a BF (which, again, I don't care about; if it's on, it's on, you'll find a way to make it happen for her and still keep her not feeling like a slut) and that, coupled with Mom's presence, pretty much ended things. She offered to give me her email but I don't do emails any more-- in the past they've lead to frustration and wasted effort on my part. I had to bid her "adieu". :-(

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The third one was the most recent one which involved a Literary Legal Eagle by the name of Olivia from OH (she's not Korean, btw). Again, I was chilling with K. and my other buddy S. shotting the shit when I notice this girl lug her backpack and large-ass literature books into a tiny side-table. At first I was kind of "ehh" about her-- it wasn't a bang-on-gut-reaction like with Eunice (above). The more glances I stole at her (at one point we even had good, solid eye contact) the more interested I became in her. After about 20 minutes (yeah, I know, sometimes I take too long) I get up and talk to her. 10 minutes of Rapport which was mutual flirting and sharing on both our parts. At the end when I go for the day2 close she breaks out the "I have a BF" which seemed genuine so I didn't press it further. She gave me her email address (which I don't ask for but if she's giving it, then fine), we shoot the shit for another minute or so, then I let her get back to studying.

There and balikbayan again

It's been ages since I've taken a proper vacation from work. In fact I don't recall ever taking a vacation of more than 3 days (aka "the long weekend") before college ended. That changed when I took a vacation with family to the Philippines recently for two weeks, partly to attend my cousin's wedding in Batangas, partly to lounge about doing nothing (or so I thought) in Cebu and Bohol. I learned a couple of things while I was out there, some of which I'll elucidate below.

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If you thought Asian girls in the 'States were shy, man, girls from the Philippines are even more shy. Shy and low self-esteem and surprised that a sexy Asian man (such as myself) would see anything in them worth getting to know. Now I'm not saying this to try and put them down or anything, God love 'em, but they make the whole "getting to know you" process a challenge, that's for certain. The whole time I was out there, every single girl I approached was shocked that I would want to talk to them. I remember one in particular verbalizing, "Why do you want to talk to me, I'm boring!" over and over again. It's kind of sad and yet also part of my challenge: I have to find that one special thing in her and show it the light of day and the brilliant light of my love *gag* ;-).

--oh yeah, Direct opening doesn't exist in the Philippines. No where. Even with the white folk vacationing there I'm 99% certain I'm the only guy in that whole frickin' nation with brass ones enough to approach a stranger and tell her she's cute and that I'd like to shag her rotten. I'd like to change that some day, but I digress...

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There are a lot of prostitutes in the Philippines, not all of which are necessarily of "legal" age. :-\ Despite all the advances in technology and economic growth the Philippines is still, by and large, a poor country (2nd world, or something close to it). Because of this and because of the large number of tourists that visit the beaches (on some of the islands) there's good money to be made in that profession.

===

While I was there I spent most of my time with family or touring but in the precious moments when I could actually, you know, do what I wanted to (that's the point of a vacation, isn't it?) I was able to flirt with a couple of pinays. Here's the noteworthy ones:

1) While staying at a beach resort in Cebu I met this lil' cutey while she was sitting with her friends by the pool. It started with solid Eye Contact from a distance and a sly smile. From there it was all Presence and Eye Contact and some good kino. There was a language barrier (even though I understand Tagalog) so a lot of the interaction was broken Taglish, smiling and kino.

The main problem? Logistics, on both our parts. I was sharing a room with my family and she was there with a, ahem, "client". That didn't stop the fact that she was crazy attracted to me (I don't count specific IOIs any more, it's just a gut feeling based on her actions and I haven't been wrong yet). All we could do was flirt from afar and over text message. Ultimately the stars just didn't line up for us.

2) While killing some time at a mall in Cebu with my cousin and brother I saw this cute girl walk into the coffee shop we were in. After she bought her coffee and sat outside at a table I just said, "fvck it" and approached her Direct (yet friendly and relaxed). She was taken aback at first but started smiling and enjoying the interaction soon after.

This interaction was notable for me because I really pushed my kino with her, even kino'ing her legs and small of her back in broad daylight. When she'd call me on the kino I'd banter back with stuff like, "I'm not touching your back, you keep leaning into my hands! :-) If you keep that up I'm going to have to stop talking to you. ;-)" I would, of course, continue kinoescalating. :-)

If I had still been staying in Cebu that day I have no doubt I would've pulled her back to my hotel room. As it stands I was flying out that day with my family in an hour, so this one didn't go anywhere.

3) During my last couple of days in Manila I went with a couple of friends to a local strip club/karaoke bar. Now the way these strip club/k-bars work is, beyond the normal strip club below, there are karaoke rooms you can rent on the second floor. With these room rentals you have your choice of "female companion" taken from this large, aquarium-like viewing room (you need to see it to know what I mean, it's kind of funny).

The rude and the crude of it: you can spend time with the chick in the k-room and elect to pay an extra amount to rent a private room for an hour to schtup her. Most of my friends elected to do so. Why didn't I? Well, lemme tell ya...

The girl that I picked was... a challenge, to say the least. She looked young (well, all pinays look young) and she acted even younger. It wouldn't surprise me if she turned out to be around 16 years old, even though she said 18. She was very ticklish-- I mean, so ticklish that even placing my hand on her back made her laugh and pull away (she said that she was ticklish because she didn't know where my hands were). On top of all this was the language barrier.

So how did I handle it? Well I played it patiently and kept the energy light and fun-- there was a lot of word play (mostly through broken Taglish) and strong Eye Contact, and I eventually got her accustomed to my touch despite repeated push-off's. I took things to a sexual level by deliberately controlling her hands (with mine on top) and using them to touch herself. Eventually once everyone else left the room I took things all the way with her. She certainly wasn't ticklish by that point. ;-)

===

All in all I really enjoyed my time in the Philippines. It was great to see my relatives and to flex my chick skills with the local talent. I may yet return one day, hopefully with more time to actually do what I want.

A New Year

Man, has it really been 3 months since I've posted to this blog? So much has happened in the interim that's noteworthy (well, at least to myself) I don't even know where to begin. I guess the best way to disseminate this information is too outline it and then go into the nit-grits in separate posts. :-)

• Went on vacation to the Philippines, had sexytimes
• Been going to the Barnes & Noble at The Grove regularly to read a book and flirt with girls
• Taught at another AoA weekend (sort of)

In terms of where my "game" is at, it's a LOT more natural than it was in months past. I owe a lot of it to hanging with my "natural" buddy, K., who I talk a LOT with about girls and "game" and all kinds of shizzle. It certainly gives me a good barometer to measure things against, plus he's just a cool motherfucker to hang with. To sum up where my "game" is:

• Less words in Attraction and Rapport
• More assertive kino right off the bat
• Tighter non-verbal communication (body language, eye contact, kino)
• Stronger "Frame" (if she's talking to me, she likes me, so it's "on" and I go for what I want)

As an aside to why I'm able to be more assertive and "bold":

If you've ever seen me or hung out with me you know that I tend to put off a "metrosexual" vibe. Part of this is being brought up in an Asian culture, part of it is being a Virgo (Virgos are a "mutable" sign, meaning they can play the Masculine or Feminine poles of a given relationship). Because I may not be percieved (outwardly) as overly-Masculine I can get away with some pretty crazy shit, kino-wise and verbally. I think this is also why Direct works so well for me-- there's a contrast of intense Masculine direction versus a more Feminine "vibe". Not saying I'm a girlie-man or anything, though, so fvck off. ;-)

In any case I'll be following up this post with more details of what's been my going-on lately in terms of chicks.

Happy New Year!

Yet Another Art of Rapport Weekend

If you didn't know (or just weren't made aware) I'm an Instructor for PickUp 101. It's not a bad gig, all things considered, but it's definitely not my main source of income at the moment. Right now I get a lot out of the "helping guys bring out their attractive, confident qualities in order to develop fulfilling, long-lasting relationships with women" aspect of things. That doesn't mean there isn't room for improvement for this company. Right now I'm trying to work with the higher-ups to help them reshape what the company is about and how to clean up their web presence so we can reach the right guys with a congruent message/image.

It's interesting how teaching actually makes me better at "pick up." Whoever coined the phrase, "Those that can, do. Those that can't teach." was obviously talking out of their ass because teachers, from my perspective, are the most complete package out there. The only way to really know a topic intimately is to be doing it yourself on a constant basis; complete mastery, however, really lies in your ability to pass that knowledge and wisdom on to others.

This particular weekend was for the Art of Rapport down here in the City of Angels. It was a decent-sized class of 6 students, with my buddy Robbie acting as Head Instructor and myself as the Lead Instructor. We were busy the entire weekend, with the really emotional, juicy stuff up front on Friday night and all the fun flirting with chicks in broad daylight on Saturday and Sunday.

I'm really proud of this batch of students. They picked up on concepts very quickly and not a one required more than a gentle nudge in the right direction (which, coincidentally, is towards cute girls) to get things movin'. My only wish for the weekend, really, was for more hours in the day so that this old dog can get his beauty rest. ;-)

Now my students weren't the only ones getting to flirt with cute girls; Daddy need his sugar, too, y'know. :-) I actually made a LOT of progress in terms of getting to Rapport with Asian chicks this weekend, since most times it's like pulling teeth with these girls. Two stories of note:

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1) Was in line at "The Farm" restaurant (next to the AMC) in The Grove and saw this cute Korean girl dressed in black and white in front of me. I go Direct (but I keep the energy light and playful) and vibe with her while walking her back to her car in the parking structure. When I go for the day2-close she seems hesitant with her body language and I call it out as such. That's when she tells me that she's actually getting married soon. :-\ I congratulate her on her pending marriage and bounce.

I'm not sure if this could've been handled better, really. Maybe a turn of phrase to make it more innocent for her to meet up with me? Like, "Hey you seem really cool, let's get a coffee next week and get to know each other better."

2) Was with one of the students in the Barnes & Noble on the third floor, just hanging out on the bannister that overlooks the other two floors below. While chillin' there I noticed this cute lil' Korean girl in a red halter top and big sunglasses going down the escalator towards the exit. I think for a second, then go down after her to talk with her.

She had a bit of a head start on me, though, and by the time I got down to street-level she had disappeared into the throngs of people milling about. :-( Not even 15 minutes after that, though, while walking towards Nordstrom's with my student I see her walking towards me! Well, can't let her get away twice now. :-)

I stop her and speak from the heart, saying something like, "Hey, I saw you in the Barnes & Noble and was trying to catch up to you. You're really cute, I had to meet you." She gave me the biggest smile ever, although I couldn't see what was going on behind those dark sunglasses she was wearing. We vibed for about 5 minutes until she got a phone call which kind of broke the interaction. :-\ I didn't get enough Comfort with her to warrant a day2-close and I don't take phone numbers for the sake of having them, so I let her go.

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All in all I had a good yet tiring weekend. Now if only I could eke out an extra hour or 4 of sleep tonight I'd be a happy clam.

Halloween Hijinks

You know, I'm not normally one to play "dress up" on Halloween. The whole idea of the "holiday" has lost its novelty on me; if I want to go out and have fun I can do that in my normal civilian clothing, thank you very much. :-)

This past All Hallow's Eve I ended up chillin' with my brother and good friend K. at this new (yet old) spot called LIFE on Wilshire Blvd and Crescent Heights Blvd. I had heard about it through some email list I'm on (I forget which one. Thrillist? Yelp? One of those...) Now it just so happens that this particular evening LIFE was also hosting a social mixer with the organization lafun.org. Color me pleasantly suprised when I walk into LIFE and am greeted by several dozen scantily-costume-clad Asian women from the lafun.org list. :-) Now THAT'S how you start the evening off right!

I opened a couple of groups just warming up my social muscles and ended up talking with a girl at the bar, B., who was part of a larger group of Asian girls that weren't in-costume (for whatever reason). We vibe for a bit and I attempt to see if she'll comply with me by saying I'm going outside for a smoke. She agrees but for whatever reason she doesn't follow. I'm not about to hang around waiting for this chick so I bounce outside, greeting random people and groups along the way.

Later in the evening I end up reopening the group with my buddy K. winging me. That buys me some time to get some one-on-one time with B. For whatever reason she's super closed-off and shy, and she keeps insisting that she's boring. I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt but after a while I started believing her.

I decided to go and talk to the rest of her group after that; the whole group was composed of cute Asian girls so it's a win-win proposition for me. :-) I play around with one of the girls, V., basically amping Attraction, taking photos, kinoing the shit out of her. Good times.

I eventually switch gears to E. who was quiet most of the time our group was mingling with theirs. She was the token Korean of the group, I guess, and you know how I am with Korean girls... :-] I end up talking with her and dropping things into Rapport and developing a connection with her, which is always good times. It turns out I kind of dig this chick for more than her looks. Go figure, right? ;-) I set up tentative day2 plans with her (due to her schedule conflicting with mine; November's a zany time for me right now), did a little phone game with her on-the-spot to get the first phone call awkwardness out of the way, then kept talking to her and getting to know her.

So to recap: Went to LIFE; had a blast with my brother and good friend; and got a tentative day2 with a cute Korean chick. Muy bueno. :-)

Giveth and taketh away

You know sometimes the Universe perplexes me. It will both give you a gift and then take it away in the same breath and somehow I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned in there somewhere.

So yesterday I was running around (literally) doing some minor errands when I decided to stop by the Robek's near my apartment. While there I spot this cute Korean chick hop in line at Robek's right after I finish. I go outside and chill for a second since Robek's is LOUD and experience has taught me to exercise some patience in such situations. After a couple minutes she exits Robek's which gives me a chance at a better look at her. She's not the typical kind of Korean I go for -- she's thick (not fat, as evidenced by her waist and stomach; more along the lines of Reubenesque) -- but she has a cute face and she certainly knows how to move.

She sits down at a table outside with her books and her cup of ice cream. Cool. I stand up and approach her, get her smiling and laughing a bit, and start the dance of getting to know her.

Now here's the rub which I've been experiencing lately to a high degree: I go for the day2 and she's basicaly got a booked schedule. This particular girl works 2 jobs and is studying for her MCATs and only has free time after 11:00pm, MAYBE. I back off and go back into a Rapport conversation then revisit the idea of us hanging out again, to which she's still unable to offer a better solution. I take her phone number, chat for another minute, then bid her adieu.

What is it with the Universe giving me awesome chicks that I like and then making it near-impossible for me to see them? Seriously. I don't get it. To say its frustrating would be understating things.

I don't even have a real solution for this problem, to be honest. I've had to cut bait on several other chicks in recent memory because of scheduling conflicts and it sucks since I don't find THAT many chicks Attractive in that gut-level sense of the word. With this particular Korean chick I *could* try to set something up for after 11pm but that's a long shot because, hey, I have a life I have to lead too.

HurryDate at Ritual

Since my schedule's been pretty tight at work I'd decided to explore other avenues of socializing. A friend had to told me about HurryDate and I decided to give it a whirl; I'd never done speed dating before and want to check it out. This particular event was being held at Ritual, where White Lotus used to be.

"But J," you may ask, "aren't you a PUA that can bed HB11's at the drop of a dime?" </sarcasm> I'll be the first to admit that recently the girls I've been interacting with in bars and lounges have been... less-than-ideal for a myriad number of reasons. Maybe it's the environment, maybe it's them, who knows. I thought this would be fun to try out and see how the quality of girls at an event like this is.

I'll say this much for the events I've gone to so far (tonight included): it's a crap shoot. Of the 20-some-odd girls that were there maybe 4 of them were attractive physically. I talked to all 4 of those chicks and there was just something... not there. I can't put my finger on it. It may be that the type of girls that speed date are either (A) too busy to socialize normally or (B) are peculiar in some other fashion that prevents them from being social on a regular basis. In any case the 4 cute chicks all had personality quirks that just didn't do it for me:

1. Reagan (yes like the ex-president): Just a weird personality. Very abrasive, negative, odd.
2. Abi (sp?): Hot Iranian chick. Libra. The sparks just weren't there.
3. Evelyn: Asian Dental Hygenist from Monrovia. Boring.
4. M____ (I forgot her name): too quiet, was like pulling teeth trying to get some Rapport with her. Arguably the hottest chick at the event. Tall, blonde, late 20's. Marketing consultant that lived in some city near the 5 and 170 freeway.

All in all I'm pleased with myself for trying this out and being social tonight to try and make up for the hot Korean that walked in and out of my life TWICE this afternoon. Confused I need to take this momentum and carry it into the weekend. Hopefully work won't sap my mojo.

"No?" or "Not Yet?"

I've recently been forcing interactions less and less and letting the Universe guide me where I need to be. It can be exhilirating most times, where every interaction becomes an adventure. Other times, though, it can be an exercise in patience.

I've been flirting with this one girl at work on and off for the past several months. I know the whole, "Don't sh!t where you eat" mantra quite well (as I almost got burned one time before at my current gig) so I'm very careful how and when I flirt with this current chick. I get the vibe that she's into me BUT things always come up that make us getting together (and ultimately, "getting together") a huge challenge right now.

If it's not one thing it's the other: her dog swallowed some push pins; I get sick the week I have free time; she has to fly up North to see her folks; I have to take care of some last-minute financial shit; SHE gets sick the day before; the list goes on and on. It's not like these are flakey behaviour kinds of things, I can accept that. It's more like the Universe is telling me "No" with this chick.

Or is it "Not Yet?"

I'm still not sure, since we seem to vibe really well. The frosted side of me is inclined to believe "Not Yet" because every time I shelf this as a learning experience it re-opens anew. Frustrating does not even BEGIN to describe how this feels.

All I can do, really, is keep looking elsewhere lest this situation drives me bananas.

Yay B-List celebrities

Who would've thought that Santa Monica attracted the PUA type?

I was hanging with some friends from the Santa Monica Lounge at World Cafe tonight, just shooting the shit and seeing what the night brought. It was sort-of crowded at World Cafe, but not in a good way-- mostly white people with a smattering of Asians and Indians to color up the crowd a bit. I was mainly interested in talking with my friends and hanging out; I'm pretty lazy when it comes to opening groups of people as of late as I'm trying to just let the universe bring me the people that I'm meant to interact with.

While sitting around shooting the shit one of my friends recognized J-Dog from "The Pickup Artist" on VH1 with some girl. I turn around and introduce myself to J and to the girl, T. who happens to be the producer for the aforementioned show. I end up shooting the shit with the both of them and they're both really cool cats. It's a shame that J doesn't get even coverage on the show since my perception of him from the show is not as good as my perception of him after I met him. I eventually also talk to Spoon for a hot minute who seems to be in a better headspace than he was during the TV show.

I think it's fascinating how being a "B-List" celebrity can be either a major boon or a major bust for a person's social value. On the positive side you get recognized by some people which kind of puts you on a slightly elevated status relative to other people in the room. On the flip side, though, it makes it hard to discern whether a person is into you for who you REALLY are or if they're just enamored by who they perceive you to be from whatever it is you're famous for. I'm not sure I would ever be ready for the lifestyle of a celebrity, even a minor celebrity from a show like "The Pickup Artist." By nature I'm a very private person so I think all the poking and prodding by random people into my business would grate me after a while. I suppose it's a good thing I'm not a world-famous pickup artist then. ;-)

An evening at S Bar and The Griffin

Logistics, logistics, logistics. Things like "getting IOIs" or "DHV'ing" or whatever bullshit are not my Sticking Point right now, everything keeps boiling down to the big "L" word. I'm very finely tuned into social interactions nowadays and I'm closer to running "Natural" game than I was 3 months ago. I have maybe 1 or 2 fun roleplaying openers that I keep in my back pocket but other than that I let my Body Language and Kino do the lion's share of the work for me. Now I just have to start finding girls that are local and down for some same-night sexytimes and I'll be golden.

Tonight was something of an interesting learning experience, albiet a touch frustrating. I'm trying to explore K-Town more (because of my irrational love of Korean women) and went to S Bar on Wilshire Blvd and New Hampshire Ave with my buddies Ulysses and S. If you've never been to this kind of bar before it's something akin to a hostess bar where the bartenders (who are all Asian women) pour your drinks, drink some of your alcohol, eat some of your food and generally entertain you. Tonight (Saturday) was actually kind of dead-- the only cute girls were behind the bar and that was a logistical challenge for me. I can't really kino across the bar easily so it makes getting the girls warmed up difficult. I need to find a spot at the bar where it opens up or something so I can stand next to them and get them hot and bothered to bounce later in the evening. I really dig a couple of the bartenders there and would ravish them in a New York Minute but I still haven't been able to crack the code yet, as it were. This'll be a pet project of mine for a while.

We eventually bounce from there to a new bar up in the Atwater Village area called The Griffin, which is something of a greaser rockabilly spot with a really chill vibe. We're chillin' in the smoking area and at one point I'm like, "Fuck this, I'm going to do the whole social butterfly thing" and bounce my way through the smoking area. Most of the sets end up dying for one reason or another until the very last set at the end of the evening (and at the end of the smoking patio, coincidentally).

I open the set with my tried-and-true, "Hey, do you have a light?" and I get the ball rolling. I eventually just start shooting the shit with all of them and try to get myself integrated with the group. Eventually 3 more of their friends show up, one of which is this STUNNING Vietnamese chick named V.T. Wow. We introduce ourselves to each other and I'm getting the vibe from her. I end up chatting up everyone else for a bit and eventually get drawn into a conversation with her sitting at the table.

From the moment we started talking I knew it was on. I was ramping the kino on her leg, under the table, while sitting in this dark spot of the bar. I was looking at her with strong Eye Contact ("Soul Gazing:" left eye to left eye) and going into some Medium Rapport stuff. I would've taken things further (feeling up her hands, her inner thigh, putting her hands in my lap, etc) but then I get cockblocked by her two friends that pull her into a conversation at the OTHER table. Blah. I go back to vibing with some of the guys at the table I was at for a bit.

Now at this point I have a decision to make: go for the day2 or the ONS. Given the logistics of her friends being there and whatnot I went for the day2. I stood up, went over to her table and chatted up her friend for a second before turning my attention to V.T. I straight up tell her, "Hey, I know you're with friends right now but I really would like to get to know you better since you seem like a cool chick. Let's get a coffee next week." From here logistics spanks me again:

-She lives in Huntington Beach, but is going to school at UC Santa Cruz (going back in 1 month)
-She has a live-in boyfriend
-She's working part-time at Fashion Island in Newport Beach (which is FAAAAAAAR from both my work and apartment)

I press for a meet-up (while kino'ing her back and arms away from prying eyes) and she seems to be giving it serious thought (eye-accessing cues down and to the left) but starts hemming and hawing about the points above. At that point it's do-or-die, since pressing for the ONS is more than a little difficult with all her friends there. I tell her this is her last chance since I was leaving (which is true), and she seems to consider it deeply one last time but ultimately backs out. Blah again. I say bye to everyone in the group and exit with grace.

3 feet from gold, man. 3 feet...

So, what did I learn tonight?

-Reinforced the fact that I'm a sexy bitch and chicks want to fuck me. w00t!
-Kinoescalate like there's no tomorrow but do it discreetly (i.e., under the table in a dark spot of the bar).
-"Soul Gazing" is the shit. I do this with everyone now but most especially with chicks. You can have the most DRY conversation in the world but you can basically eye-fuck each other in the middle of her friends. It's hot.
-Don't ignore her friends, integrate yourself with the group.

Ahh well, chalk this night up to experience.

Happy Birthday to me...

Today was the celebration of my birth upon this Earth and I'm dead-ass tired right now. I had spent this Labor Day weekend in the City of Sin: Lost Wages, NV. I went with 3 of the closest people I have in my life: my brother, my cousin, and my good friend K. My goals that weekend were simple: play craps, pick up girls (if the situation presented itself), shoot guns and (if the mood struck) see some titties.

I gotta say this weekend was a mixed bag.

The craps tables at Excalibur and Hard Rock took me for about $1,500 (I had some good runs as the shooter, I shoulda left when I was up) so that kind of messed with my head a bit. I earmarked $1,500 for this weekend so it's not like I wasn't mentally prepared for it, just the fact that I couldn't catch ANY breaks at the Hard Rock craps tables really set me back emotionally-- I didn't have the desire to flirt with girls after losing money the way I did.

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In terms of flirting with girls things just weren't hitting. Most of the girls were either with BFs, were boring, or were too "hot" for my emotional state at that moment. The girls that DID have potential I messed up by mistiming my approach. For example I was in Mist at Treasure Island, the freebie bar near the front entrance. It was more or less a cockfarm (blah), but there were several sets that could have gone better if I timed things differently:

1) Mixed set of guys and girls sort of dancing near the front. Asians. I got solid EC from one of the girls but hesitated too long to open them. I had to wait until the one I wanted sat down at her table alone and I went Direct. Slight language barrier and eventually her BF returned and basically shut me out. I greeted him in a friendly manner and exited with grace.

2) 2 girls walked into the bar, one Asian the other White. While they were at the bar waiting to get the attention of the bartender I opened them with the roleplay frame that I was part of their group and was running late. I had them laughing and engaged for the first minute, but I eventually lost them to the bartender. Had I waited for them to get their drinks things would probably have gone better.

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I've come to a couple of realizations from this weekend in terms of what I want out of this whole "meet girls" thing:

-Although I can function in a high-energy environment I much rather prefer quieter, "normal" locales to work my magic. For example I was leaving the Sherwood Forest Cafe in Excalibur when I saw this cute Asian chick eating by herself. I passed by her table, thought about it, then went back. I opened her sincerely but relaxed with, "Hey, you're really cute. I want to get to know you," and caught her off-guard a bit while she was eating her soup. It was cute. We vibed for a bit but she was there with her BF (who was playing poker at the time) so I took the convo as far as I could to practice my Rapport skills. After a few I left her to her meal and rejoined my buds.

-I can't force myself or put undue pressure on myself to open because that's when I fvck things up. When I'm relaxed and having fun with my friends and cute girls happen by things tend to fall into place. I already logged my training hours behind the wheel, I just have to let shit happen now.

-I don't really want a one-night stand. That may sound weird to some but in my heart of hearts those kinds of encounters don't really do it for me. I want a connection with the girl, that just makes the sexytimes all the more sweeter. That's not to say that I can't develop a deep connection with girls in one night, so I don't preclude the possibility of having an ONS, but most (if not all) of my night-time connections as of late have been shallow to medium Rapport, at best.

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On the upside I had TONS of fun hanging with my boys, shooting the shit, just being Men without apologies. Shooting guns at The Gun Store kicked ass, as usual. And to round things out we went to Sin (a strip club) and saw some titties, which is always good times (hey, I'm still a guy, y'know).