Yet Another Art of Rapport Weekend

If you didn't know (or just weren't made aware) I'm an Instructor for PickUp 101. It's not a bad gig, all things considered, but it's definitely not my main source of income at the moment. Right now I get a lot out of the "helping guys bring out their attractive, confident qualities in order to develop fulfilling, long-lasting relationships with women" aspect of things. That doesn't mean there isn't room for improvement for this company. Right now I'm trying to work with the higher-ups to help them reshape what the company is about and how to clean up their web presence so we can reach the right guys with a congruent message/image.

It's interesting how teaching actually makes me better at "pick up." Whoever coined the phrase, "Those that can, do. Those that can't teach." was obviously talking out of their ass because teachers, from my perspective, are the most complete package out there. The only way to really know a topic intimately is to be doing it yourself on a constant basis; complete mastery, however, really lies in your ability to pass that knowledge and wisdom on to others.

This particular weekend was for the Art of Rapport down here in the City of Angels. It was a decent-sized class of 6 students, with my buddy Robbie acting as Head Instructor and myself as the Lead Instructor. We were busy the entire weekend, with the really emotional, juicy stuff up front on Friday night and all the fun flirting with chicks in broad daylight on Saturday and Sunday.

I'm really proud of this batch of students. They picked up on concepts very quickly and not a one required more than a gentle nudge in the right direction (which, coincidentally, is towards cute girls) to get things movin'. My only wish for the weekend, really, was for more hours in the day so that this old dog can get his beauty rest. ;-)

Now my students weren't the only ones getting to flirt with cute girls; Daddy need his sugar, too, y'know. :-) I actually made a LOT of progress in terms of getting to Rapport with Asian chicks this weekend, since most times it's like pulling teeth with these girls. Two stories of note:

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1) Was in line at "The Farm" restaurant (next to the AMC) in The Grove and saw this cute Korean girl dressed in black and white in front of me. I go Direct (but I keep the energy light and playful) and vibe with her while walking her back to her car in the parking structure. When I go for the day2-close she seems hesitant with her body language and I call it out as such. That's when she tells me that she's actually getting married soon. :-\ I congratulate her on her pending marriage and bounce.

I'm not sure if this could've been handled better, really. Maybe a turn of phrase to make it more innocent for her to meet up with me? Like, "Hey you seem really cool, let's get a coffee next week and get to know each other better."

2) Was with one of the students in the Barnes & Noble on the third floor, just hanging out on the bannister that overlooks the other two floors below. While chillin' there I noticed this cute lil' Korean girl in a red halter top and big sunglasses going down the escalator towards the exit. I think for a second, then go down after her to talk with her.

She had a bit of a head start on me, though, and by the time I got down to street-level she had disappeared into the throngs of people milling about. :-( Not even 15 minutes after that, though, while walking towards Nordstrom's with my student I see her walking towards me! Well, can't let her get away twice now. :-)

I stop her and speak from the heart, saying something like, "Hey, I saw you in the Barnes & Noble and was trying to catch up to you. You're really cute, I had to meet you." She gave me the biggest smile ever, although I couldn't see what was going on behind those dark sunglasses she was wearing. We vibed for about 5 minutes until she got a phone call which kind of broke the interaction. :-\ I didn't get enough Comfort with her to warrant a day2-close and I don't take phone numbers for the sake of having them, so I let her go.

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All in all I had a good yet tiring weekend. Now if only I could eke out an extra hour or 4 of sleep tonight I'd be a happy clam.

Halloween Hijinks

You know, I'm not normally one to play "dress up" on Halloween. The whole idea of the "holiday" has lost its novelty on me; if I want to go out and have fun I can do that in my normal civilian clothing, thank you very much. :-)

This past All Hallow's Eve I ended up chillin' with my brother and good friend K. at this new (yet old) spot called LIFE on Wilshire Blvd and Crescent Heights Blvd. I had heard about it through some email list I'm on (I forget which one. Thrillist? Yelp? One of those...) Now it just so happens that this particular evening LIFE was also hosting a social mixer with the organization lafun.org. Color me pleasantly suprised when I walk into LIFE and am greeted by several dozen scantily-costume-clad Asian women from the lafun.org list. :-) Now THAT'S how you start the evening off right!

I opened a couple of groups just warming up my social muscles and ended up talking with a girl at the bar, B., who was part of a larger group of Asian girls that weren't in-costume (for whatever reason). We vibe for a bit and I attempt to see if she'll comply with me by saying I'm going outside for a smoke. She agrees but for whatever reason she doesn't follow. I'm not about to hang around waiting for this chick so I bounce outside, greeting random people and groups along the way.

Later in the evening I end up reopening the group with my buddy K. winging me. That buys me some time to get some one-on-one time with B. For whatever reason she's super closed-off and shy, and she keeps insisting that she's boring. I tried giving her the benefit of the doubt but after a while I started believing her.

I decided to go and talk to the rest of her group after that; the whole group was composed of cute Asian girls so it's a win-win proposition for me. :-) I play around with one of the girls, V., basically amping Attraction, taking photos, kinoing the shit out of her. Good times.

I eventually switch gears to E. who was quiet most of the time our group was mingling with theirs. She was the token Korean of the group, I guess, and you know how I am with Korean girls... :-] I end up talking with her and dropping things into Rapport and developing a connection with her, which is always good times. It turns out I kind of dig this chick for more than her looks. Go figure, right? ;-) I set up tentative day2 plans with her (due to her schedule conflicting with mine; November's a zany time for me right now), did a little phone game with her on-the-spot to get the first phone call awkwardness out of the way, then kept talking to her and getting to know her.

So to recap: Went to LIFE; had a blast with my brother and good friend; and got a tentative day2 with a cute Korean chick. Muy bueno. :-)

Giveth and taketh away

You know sometimes the Universe perplexes me. It will both give you a gift and then take it away in the same breath and somehow I'm sure there's a lesson to be learned in there somewhere.

So yesterday I was running around (literally) doing some minor errands when I decided to stop by the Robek's near my apartment. While there I spot this cute Korean chick hop in line at Robek's right after I finish. I go outside and chill for a second since Robek's is LOUD and experience has taught me to exercise some patience in such situations. After a couple minutes she exits Robek's which gives me a chance at a better look at her. She's not the typical kind of Korean I go for -- she's thick (not fat, as evidenced by her waist and stomach; more along the lines of Reubenesque) -- but she has a cute face and she certainly knows how to move.

She sits down at a table outside with her books and her cup of ice cream. Cool. I stand up and approach her, get her smiling and laughing a bit, and start the dance of getting to know her.

Now here's the rub which I've been experiencing lately to a high degree: I go for the day2 and she's basicaly got a booked schedule. This particular girl works 2 jobs and is studying for her MCATs and only has free time after 11:00pm, MAYBE. I back off and go back into a Rapport conversation then revisit the idea of us hanging out again, to which she's still unable to offer a better solution. I take her phone number, chat for another minute, then bid her adieu.

What is it with the Universe giving me awesome chicks that I like and then making it near-impossible for me to see them? Seriously. I don't get it. To say its frustrating would be understating things.

I don't even have a real solution for this problem, to be honest. I've had to cut bait on several other chicks in recent memory because of scheduling conflicts and it sucks since I don't find THAT many chicks Attractive in that gut-level sense of the word. With this particular Korean chick I *could* try to set something up for after 11pm but that's a long shot because, hey, I have a life I have to lead too.

HurryDate at Ritual

Since my schedule's been pretty tight at work I'd decided to explore other avenues of socializing. A friend had to told me about HurryDate and I decided to give it a whirl; I'd never done speed dating before and want to check it out. This particular event was being held at Ritual, where White Lotus used to be.

"But J," you may ask, "aren't you a PUA that can bed HB11's at the drop of a dime?" </sarcasm> I'll be the first to admit that recently the girls I've been interacting with in bars and lounges have been... less-than-ideal for a myriad number of reasons. Maybe it's the environment, maybe it's them, who knows. I thought this would be fun to try out and see how the quality of girls at an event like this is.

I'll say this much for the events I've gone to so far (tonight included): it's a crap shoot. Of the 20-some-odd girls that were there maybe 4 of them were attractive physically. I talked to all 4 of those chicks and there was just something... not there. I can't put my finger on it. It may be that the type of girls that speed date are either (A) too busy to socialize normally or (B) are peculiar in some other fashion that prevents them from being social on a regular basis. In any case the 4 cute chicks all had personality quirks that just didn't do it for me:

1. Reagan (yes like the ex-president): Just a weird personality. Very abrasive, negative, odd.
2. Abi (sp?): Hot Iranian chick. Libra. The sparks just weren't there.
3. Evelyn: Asian Dental Hygenist from Monrovia. Boring.
4. M____ (I forgot her name): too quiet, was like pulling teeth trying to get some Rapport with her. Arguably the hottest chick at the event. Tall, blonde, late 20's. Marketing consultant that lived in some city near the 5 and 170 freeway.

All in all I'm pleased with myself for trying this out and being social tonight to try and make up for the hot Korean that walked in and out of my life TWICE this afternoon. Confused I need to take this momentum and carry it into the weekend. Hopefully work won't sap my mojo.

"No?" or "Not Yet?"

I've recently been forcing interactions less and less and letting the Universe guide me where I need to be. It can be exhilirating most times, where every interaction becomes an adventure. Other times, though, it can be an exercise in patience.

I've been flirting with this one girl at work on and off for the past several months. I know the whole, "Don't sh!t where you eat" mantra quite well (as I almost got burned one time before at my current gig) so I'm very careful how and when I flirt with this current chick. I get the vibe that she's into me BUT things always come up that make us getting together (and ultimately, "getting together") a huge challenge right now.

If it's not one thing it's the other: her dog swallowed some push pins; I get sick the week I have free time; she has to fly up North to see her folks; I have to take care of some last-minute financial shit; SHE gets sick the day before; the list goes on and on. It's not like these are flakey behaviour kinds of things, I can accept that. It's more like the Universe is telling me "No" with this chick.

Or is it "Not Yet?"

I'm still not sure, since we seem to vibe really well. The frosted side of me is inclined to believe "Not Yet" because every time I shelf this as a learning experience it re-opens anew. Frustrating does not even BEGIN to describe how this feels.

All I can do, really, is keep looking elsewhere lest this situation drives me bananas.

Yay B-List celebrities

Who would've thought that Santa Monica attracted the PUA type?

I was hanging with some friends from the Santa Monica Lounge at World Cafe tonight, just shooting the shit and seeing what the night brought. It was sort-of crowded at World Cafe, but not in a good way-- mostly white people with a smattering of Asians and Indians to color up the crowd a bit. I was mainly interested in talking with my friends and hanging out; I'm pretty lazy when it comes to opening groups of people as of late as I'm trying to just let the universe bring me the people that I'm meant to interact with.

While sitting around shooting the shit one of my friends recognized J-Dog from "The Pickup Artist" on VH1 with some girl. I turn around and introduce myself to J and to the girl, T. who happens to be the producer for the aforementioned show. I end up shooting the shit with the both of them and they're both really cool cats. It's a shame that J doesn't get even coverage on the show since my perception of him from the show is not as good as my perception of him after I met him. I eventually also talk to Spoon for a hot minute who seems to be in a better headspace than he was during the TV show.

I think it's fascinating how being a "B-List" celebrity can be either a major boon or a major bust for a person's social value. On the positive side you get recognized by some people which kind of puts you on a slightly elevated status relative to other people in the room. On the flip side, though, it makes it hard to discern whether a person is into you for who you REALLY are or if they're just enamored by who they perceive you to be from whatever it is you're famous for. I'm not sure I would ever be ready for the lifestyle of a celebrity, even a minor celebrity from a show like "The Pickup Artist." By nature I'm a very private person so I think all the poking and prodding by random people into my business would grate me after a while. I suppose it's a good thing I'm not a world-famous pickup artist then. ;-)

An evening at S Bar and The Griffin

Logistics, logistics, logistics. Things like "getting IOIs" or "DHV'ing" or whatever bullshit are not my Sticking Point right now, everything keeps boiling down to the big "L" word. I'm very finely tuned into social interactions nowadays and I'm closer to running "Natural" game than I was 3 months ago. I have maybe 1 or 2 fun roleplaying openers that I keep in my back pocket but other than that I let my Body Language and Kino do the lion's share of the work for me. Now I just have to start finding girls that are local and down for some same-night sexytimes and I'll be golden.

Tonight was something of an interesting learning experience, albiet a touch frustrating. I'm trying to explore K-Town more (because of my irrational love of Korean women) and went to S Bar on Wilshire Blvd and New Hampshire Ave with my buddies Ulysses and S. If you've never been to this kind of bar before it's something akin to a hostess bar where the bartenders (who are all Asian women) pour your drinks, drink some of your alcohol, eat some of your food and generally entertain you. Tonight (Saturday) was actually kind of dead-- the only cute girls were behind the bar and that was a logistical challenge for me. I can't really kino across the bar easily so it makes getting the girls warmed up difficult. I need to find a spot at the bar where it opens up or something so I can stand next to them and get them hot and bothered to bounce later in the evening. I really dig a couple of the bartenders there and would ravish them in a New York Minute but I still haven't been able to crack the code yet, as it were. This'll be a pet project of mine for a while.

We eventually bounce from there to a new bar up in the Atwater Village area called The Griffin, which is something of a greaser rockabilly spot with a really chill vibe. We're chillin' in the smoking area and at one point I'm like, "Fuck this, I'm going to do the whole social butterfly thing" and bounce my way through the smoking area. Most of the sets end up dying for one reason or another until the very last set at the end of the evening (and at the end of the smoking patio, coincidentally).

I open the set with my tried-and-true, "Hey, do you have a light?" and I get the ball rolling. I eventually just start shooting the shit with all of them and try to get myself integrated with the group. Eventually 3 more of their friends show up, one of which is this STUNNING Vietnamese chick named V.T. Wow. We introduce ourselves to each other and I'm getting the vibe from her. I end up chatting up everyone else for a bit and eventually get drawn into a conversation with her sitting at the table.

From the moment we started talking I knew it was on. I was ramping the kino on her leg, under the table, while sitting in this dark spot of the bar. I was looking at her with strong Eye Contact ("Soul Gazing:" left eye to left eye) and going into some Medium Rapport stuff. I would've taken things further (feeling up her hands, her inner thigh, putting her hands in my lap, etc) but then I get cockblocked by her two friends that pull her into a conversation at the OTHER table. Blah. I go back to vibing with some of the guys at the table I was at for a bit.

Now at this point I have a decision to make: go for the day2 or the ONS. Given the logistics of her friends being there and whatnot I went for the day2. I stood up, went over to her table and chatted up her friend for a second before turning my attention to V.T. I straight up tell her, "Hey, I know you're with friends right now but I really would like to get to know you better since you seem like a cool chick. Let's get a coffee next week." From here logistics spanks me again:

-She lives in Huntington Beach, but is going to school at UC Santa Cruz (going back in 1 month)
-She has a live-in boyfriend
-She's working part-time at Fashion Island in Newport Beach (which is FAAAAAAAR from both my work and apartment)

I press for a meet-up (while kino'ing her back and arms away from prying eyes) and she seems to be giving it serious thought (eye-accessing cues down and to the left) but starts hemming and hawing about the points above. At that point it's do-or-die, since pressing for the ONS is more than a little difficult with all her friends there. I tell her this is her last chance since I was leaving (which is true), and she seems to consider it deeply one last time but ultimately backs out. Blah again. I say bye to everyone in the group and exit with grace.

3 feet from gold, man. 3 feet...

So, what did I learn tonight?

-Reinforced the fact that I'm a sexy bitch and chicks want to fuck me. w00t!
-Kinoescalate like there's no tomorrow but do it discreetly (i.e., under the table in a dark spot of the bar).
-"Soul Gazing" is the shit. I do this with everyone now but most especially with chicks. You can have the most DRY conversation in the world but you can basically eye-fuck each other in the middle of her friends. It's hot.
-Don't ignore her friends, integrate yourself with the group.

Ahh well, chalk this night up to experience.

Happy Birthday to me...

Today was the celebration of my birth upon this Earth and I'm dead-ass tired right now. I had spent this Labor Day weekend in the City of Sin: Lost Wages, NV. I went with 3 of the closest people I have in my life: my brother, my cousin, and my good friend K. My goals that weekend were simple: play craps, pick up girls (if the situation presented itself), shoot guns and (if the mood struck) see some titties.

I gotta say this weekend was a mixed bag.

The craps tables at Excalibur and Hard Rock took me for about $1,500 (I had some good runs as the shooter, I shoulda left when I was up) so that kind of messed with my head a bit. I earmarked $1,500 for this weekend so it's not like I wasn't mentally prepared for it, just the fact that I couldn't catch ANY breaks at the Hard Rock craps tables really set me back emotionally-- I didn't have the desire to flirt with girls after losing money the way I did.

******

In terms of flirting with girls things just weren't hitting. Most of the girls were either with BFs, were boring, or were too "hot" for my emotional state at that moment. The girls that DID have potential I messed up by mistiming my approach. For example I was in Mist at Treasure Island, the freebie bar near the front entrance. It was more or less a cockfarm (blah), but there were several sets that could have gone better if I timed things differently:

1) Mixed set of guys and girls sort of dancing near the front. Asians. I got solid EC from one of the girls but hesitated too long to open them. I had to wait until the one I wanted sat down at her table alone and I went Direct. Slight language barrier and eventually her BF returned and basically shut me out. I greeted him in a friendly manner and exited with grace.

2) 2 girls walked into the bar, one Asian the other White. While they were at the bar waiting to get the attention of the bartender I opened them with the roleplay frame that I was part of their group and was running late. I had them laughing and engaged for the first minute, but I eventually lost them to the bartender. Had I waited for them to get their drinks things would probably have gone better.

******

I've come to a couple of realizations from this weekend in terms of what I want out of this whole "meet girls" thing:

-Although I can function in a high-energy environment I much rather prefer quieter, "normal" locales to work my magic. For example I was leaving the Sherwood Forest Cafe in Excalibur when I saw this cute Asian chick eating by herself. I passed by her table, thought about it, then went back. I opened her sincerely but relaxed with, "Hey, you're really cute. I want to get to know you," and caught her off-guard a bit while she was eating her soup. It was cute. We vibed for a bit but she was there with her BF (who was playing poker at the time) so I took the convo as far as I could to practice my Rapport skills. After a few I left her to her meal and rejoined my buds.

-I can't force myself or put undue pressure on myself to open because that's when I fvck things up. When I'm relaxed and having fun with my friends and cute girls happen by things tend to fall into place. I already logged my training hours behind the wheel, I just have to let shit happen now.

-I don't really want a one-night stand. That may sound weird to some but in my heart of hearts those kinds of encounters don't really do it for me. I want a connection with the girl, that just makes the sexytimes all the more sweeter. That's not to say that I can't develop a deep connection with girls in one night, so I don't preclude the possibility of having an ONS, but most (if not all) of my night-time connections as of late have been shallow to medium Rapport, at best.

******

On the upside I had TONS of fun hanging with my boys, shooting the shit, just being Men without apologies. Shooting guns at The Gun Store kicked ass, as usual. And to round things out we went to Sin (a strip club) and saw some titties, which is always good times (hey, I'm still a guy, y'know).

Soul Gazing in the Rite Aid

Eye Contact. It's one of those things where, if you know what the fuck you're doing, it trumps pretty much anything you can use to communicate with a girl. Girls love a man that can give strong eye contact (no, not crazy stalker eyes, I mean the kind of gaze that looks right into her soul), and not enough men out there can look even other men right in the eye let alone a cute girl.

I was running into the local Rite Aid last night, looking to pick up a pack of smokes (PUBLIC SERVICE MESSAGE: Don't smoke, it's bad for you.) when a girl that was working the front door (selling some sort of offer dealing with prescriptions or something) greeted me with a simple, "Hello." I turned and looked at her and, lo and behold, she's pretty cute. I don't normally go for black chicks but there was something about her that intrigued me, so I flashed a smile at her and continued talking with her. Throw in some banter here and there and we're off to the races.

Now the one thing which I learned from the last Art of Rapport Workshop that I helped instruct at was this exercise that is similar to David Deida's "Soul Gazing" exercise. As a result of that exercise I'm a LOT more conscious of my use of eye contact and it's actually a primary method of communication I use now on top of kino and proper body language. I could be talking about shopping for groceries with a girl now but if I've got her gaze just right I can intensify our connection without even kino'ing her.

Long story short with the Rite-Aid chick: our whole interaction had extended periods of "soul gazing" while talking about whatever and I could feel how "hot" this interaction was right in my chest. It's the kind of fuzzy feeling I get while sexing chicks and I'm pretty sure she was feeling it, too, just by looking in her eyes and at her body language. She was a pretty guarded individual, though, so securing a day2 was difficult. I invited her to meet me for coffee near my workplace at 5:00pm this afternoon; if she shows up, great, if not, well I'll be out there enjoying a coffee and some 90-degree sunshine (and maybe the company of another cute chick that may be seated outside? Who knows.).

So a bunch of PUAs walk into the Roosevelt Hotel...

This weekend was interesting. A buddy of mine was kind enough to give me a ticket to this PUA Summit that was happening at the Roosevelt Hotel. I didn't have anything better to do this weekend so I decided to attend, if anything to catch up with some friends I hadn't seen in a while.

The Summit itself was kind of cool. To be honest it felt like a giant sales pitch of all these different workshops but since I'm an instructor with PU101 I don't have a strong need for extra coaching (I can look within PU101 for that, if need be). That's not to say I didn't learn a thing or two while there. I learned some tips from the speaker representing Vin DiCarlo about their ideas on kinoescalation which I'll be sure to be implementing in my own style.

Daniel flew down to represent PU101 (along with his lovely cohort, A.) so I got to catch up with him for a few minutes during some of the breaks, and Jeff was there to lend Daniel some support with the products on display. Dan's gotten really good with public speaking and I'm excited to see how he does with bigger crowds in the future.

While hanging around the Roosevelt during the breaks several opportunities to talk to cute girls arose but I didn't pursue. :-( I'm not sure if it was good 'ol fashioned AA or approaching in front of a bunch of PUAs or what but I'm still kicking myself right now for not taking action. They were actually "my type" as well, which makes me doubly critical of my inaction. Hopefully these serve as fuel to propel me towards the next cute girl I see that flips my switches.

There was one saving grace from the weekend, though, in terms of socializing. Sunday night, while taking a smoke break at Geisha House I randomly started chatting up this couple in Geisha House's smoking patio. We actually had a really cool conversation where I got to refine my Rapport skills on a mixed set as well as refine my knowledge of astrology. At first the girl was very cold but I cracked her when I pegged her star sign on the first shot (Sagittarius) and got the guy's sign as well (Aquarius). I'm not really compatible with either of those signs (I'm a Virgo, but definitely not a virgin) but that doesn't stop me from getting to know them as people and sharing stuff about myself as well. Anytime I can end an evening with an enlightening conversation with cool people that's a win in my book (every night doesn't have to end in the bedroom with some random chick ;-) ).

...oh, and if you were curious, here's some bullet points on those star signs which are dead giveaways:

Aquarius: loves to travel A LOT; very spiritual (but not necessarily religious); tends to be more social than most; may have artistic tendencies

Sagittarius: Blunt, logical speech patterns; many creative tendencies (art, music, writing); talkative; slightly domineering (like in convos and whatnot)

Virgo: well, that's for YOU to research. I'm not gonna tell you EVERYTHING! ;-)

Frickin' Asian girls, man...

OK, just have to rant a bit here as this is still frustrating to me:

Why are Asian girls so difficult? I mean, seriously, c'mon. I don't know if it's only my experience with the non-American Asian girls I run across but every single time I talk to one Direct (usually, "You're cute. What's your name?") they shut down. Completely. I can read it in their face and I know the interaction is done before they even say anything.

Case in point: Was eating lunch at Lucy's Lunch Box here in Santa Monica, chilling outside with some co-workers when this cute-as-a-button Korean girl walks by. Instant gut reaction on my part, I know I have to talk to her. I wait a second, go back inside and open her Direct. Her face registers something along the lines of disbelief or something (I can't quantify it really, but it's not a good thing) and the interaction pretty much dies after that.

The frustrating part is that I'm pretty sure it's not me, since I get generally positive results with American-born Asian girls (as well as other ethnicities) when I go Direct on them. I'm wondering if something about my Body Language changes or my energy. I think I need to bring in a professional eye to check what's happening with my body language communications with non-American Asian girls because this is becoming frustrating really quickly.

The interim solution, for me, is to keep things Indirect with any Asian chick I run across. I don't like doing that all the time, though, since there are some chicks where it just feels right to go Direct.

If only I didn't find Asian girls so Attractive this would make my life TONS easier. :-\

You know what's awesome?

Total aside here: Making girls squirt is fast becoming a new hobby of mine. When I do end up have sexytimes with a particular girl it's become my mission to (1) make sure she cums multiple times and (2) see if I can make her squirt. Being squirt upon is a peculiar sensation that I'm still getting used to, but it's still totally awesome especially when you can do it without using your hands or mouth (if you catch my drift).

Granted, not all girls can squirt. Most can, though, if you turn them on in juuuuust the right way. I was recently with a girl who, on the outside seems prim and proper but, after getting her in the mood, I got to work and threw in some dirty talk. Viola, we are no longer dry!

The key, IME, is to be totally 100% present with her and to make her feel sexy and accepted. It also helps to tap into some archetypes that many women carry with them as well as some darker fantasies a lot of women have in their minds. I won't go into detail about them (since YMMV with any given woman) but a great resource for learning more is the book My Secret Garden by Nancy Friday. It'll blow your mind how freaky women can be in a safe fantasy environment.

Ahhhhh women. Good times, good times... :-)

Where the fuck have I been?

It's been a while since I've posted here. Work's been kicking my ass the whole month of July and parts of August which has severely limited my daytime excursions. Obviously I'm not exactly the happiest camper right now, but I try to find time to socialize when I can, which has mostly been at night.

Most recently I've been hanging with a good friend of mine, Ulysses. He's a cool cat with a real rocker vibe to him. Mostly been rolling with him to Bar Lubitsch up on Santa Monica Blvd (near Fairfax) which is a cool lil' vodka bar. Depending on what night I've gone there's been a lot of entertainment industry people milling about, which includes the occasional actress. Not bad, although I hadn't been pushing myself lately. I'm mildly concerned about that, since I know I can do way better than I have been.

I taught at another of PU101's Art of Attraction workshops here in Los Angeles. The key difference? I got paid this time, sucka, g'yeah! Granted it's not a lot of money but it's something to make up for some of the lost sleep and lost weekend. Beyond that fact, though, is the teaching I got to do, which I really enjoy. I can't really accurately explain the satisfaction that I get from seeing my students succeed; I guess the closest analogy I can make is that it's similar to seeing your child grow up or something. It's a great feeling.

One of the side benefits of teaching is refinement of my own game and being able to tackle my Sticking Points. One of my major hurdles has been really owning my sexuality and feeling comfortable expressing it with women. While teaching in the field (which included taking students to places like Saddle Ranch and Beauty Bar) I was able to make significant progress with this SP: my kino flowed very smoothly and escalated a lot quicker. I was also able to observe Hristiyan (the Head Instructor for the weekend) who has a very sexually-charged style of kino. He was super-smooth, it was awesome watching him go to work.

And on a totally unrelated-to-anything note, I saw Kat Von D at Beauty Bar on Saturday night. She's taller than she looks on TV, but is just as cute in-person.

The Edison, this time with 20% more Asian!

Went to the Edison, met up with Ulysses, setarcos, 4fiVe6, JV and a bunch of Ulysses' friends. Fun, social night overall, but will post my musings on some of the interactions:

Got opened by a cute blonde chick in the smoking patio. She came up to me and asked if I was an actor (if you've seen me, I'm the FARTHEST THING from it). I said no, but thanked her for the compliment and got into a convo with her. This was basically the girl's way of picking up on me, which is cute; it's the equivalent of a girl complimenting your shoes or whatever, they want to get to know you but lack the PU skills to do it right. B-)

What's wrong with Asian girls? Seriously? EVERY SINGLE ONE I spoke with tonight had zero social acumen, even when I came in super-friendly. I'm getting more play from the white chicks and I don't even say much with them, I'm just being fun and flirty and things just fall into place. My buddy K. puts it succinctly, I think: "Asian girls act that way because they're not in touch with their pussies." Somehow that sentiment rings true to me. :-\

The Edison's got some cute hostesses. Rawr! It's always a good idea to get the names of the bouncers, doormen, hostesses and waitresses. People like it when you remember their names and address them by it with a warm handshake and solid EC. I actually keep a notepad with me and have the names of several key people that work at The Edison and every time I go there I make it a point to greet them and make some small talk. It goes a long way. :-)

3rd Street Promenade again, this time a lil' better

You know, it's funny, you can miss the mark 99 times in a row but hitting it on the 100th try kind of makes the first 99 not mean so much. It's the one that hits that makes it all worthwhile.

I was doing my usual thing, eating lunch, flirting with random girls. I'm finding that opening in loud environments such as inside La Salsa isn't netting me any positive results. Went Direct on two different girls (one at Coffee Bean, one in La Salsa) and got the "I have a BF" line. It didn't really phase me much, but it can be disheartening all the same.

What makes the day worth it, though, is my "100th" which is this cute Japanese girl that was sitting inside the Starbucks connected to the Barnes & Noble. She was sitting at the window ledge that faces Wilshire Blvd. I saw her when I was passing by outside and I actually walked for a block before deciding to turn around and talk to her. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.

Went into Starbucks and went Direct with a relaxed vibe. Talked with her for a bit, got her to agree to a future day2 (scheduling an exact date was hard because she was studying for summer school finals and was flying back to Japan on the 30th of July), got the number and talked for a few more minutes. We'll see whether this pans out or not since time is working against me. I'm going to have to rely on some cute text messages to keep me in her memory. Still this counts as a "win" in my book. Go me!

Privilege

A buddy of mine recently starting doing promotions for Privilege on Wednesday nights, so he got me and some friends on the list. As it turns out both guys were indisposed for different reasons, but I didn't want to waste a guest list'ing so I decided to roll solo and see what happens.

Now my last attempt to roll solo was back in SF and it was... less than ideal results. It was important to me to see how well I'd do in this kind of situation again, only a year later.

The venue: Hrmmm, to be honest I can't say that I particularly like it. If you've never been to Privilege it's basically one giant dance floor with speakers at every turn (even in the connecting hallways). The smoking area is also the dance floor, so there's basically NO WHERE that's lower energy. Meh.

Although I've learned how to open in these kinds of environments I just... wasn't into it. I dunno, maybe I've already found my groove with lower-energy environments (i.e., The Edison, J Lounge, Bar Lubitsch) but I didn't really have it as a goal to get laid tonight (sounds weird, I know) nor open ten billion sets. I talked to whomever was around, I didn't run any real game, I was just social to be social.

I ended up hanging out most of the night with twin sisters who were promoters for Forbidden City/Dragonfly (may end up going, it's on Thursday and Sunday) at a table and just people-watched. We'll see how Forbidden City is on Sunday, that might be more my speed (Dancehall/Hip-Hop). As it stands I had a pleasant Wednesday evening making some conversation about nothing. Like an episode of Seinfeld except no Kramer.

My mojo's off today

You know those days when you feel like you never should've gone out in the first place? This was one of those days for me. :-\

Took a brisk walk to 3rd Street Promenade. On the way there I let two hot women pass me by (one Asian, one White). I stopped in my tracks for both and thought about it too long. :-( Bad John! Just act! *sigh*

After getting a tasty, tasty burger from Fatburger I wandered about the Promenade. While in Borders I notice this okay-looking white chick browsing books. I think to myself, "Ya, why not?". I open her Direct but I get a bad reaction; might be something's off about my energy or body language. I can't really tell in the moment. Oh well, chalked it up to experience and went back to browsing.

On the walk back I see this okay-looking blonde chick waiting at a bus stop. Again, open Direct, again get a less-than-favorable response. She actually said, "Yeah, I get that a lot" to my "You're cute"! That's a first for me (high-five? I guess) and I try to banter it off but it's a lost cause, I can feel it. I wish her a good day and go on my way.

I'm thinking either my energy's not right this morning or my intention isn't there; that is, I find these girls only somewhat attractive, so maybe that's influencing my Direct openers? Something to mull over.

I need to talk to a couple more later tonight after work, can't end the day on a weird down-note. :-\

Another long weekend teaching AoA

Man these kinds of weekends never get any easier. :-\ Chalk up one more successful weekend teaching PU101's Art of Attraction Workshop and adding 6 more confident, sexy men to the general human populace. All 6 of them did awesome and I'm proud of how far they've come.

I'm moving up the ranks in the teaching hierarchy. This past weekend I was a Lead-Instructor-In-Training and all indications from the Head Instructor (Robbie) and the other Lead Instructor (Eric) point towards a paid Lead Instructor position sooner rather than later. At this point it's up to Sean M. to give me the green light so I can start earning some side money.

There's an AoA workshop in Toronto, Canada in two weeks that I've petitioned to be a paid Lead Instructor for, so we'll see what happens. For now I'm trying to rest, recharge and do my laundry. Hopefully I'll get a proper lunch break tomorrow so I can get my flirt on at the 3rd Street Promenade. :-)

An Afternoon Stroll

Went for a quick walk down to 3rd St Promenade with a co-worker of mine so he could pick up some goodies from the Apple Store. On the walk down I see this STUNNING Asian chick walking in the opposite direction. I've gotta meet this chick for sure.

I wait about 10 seconds, tell my buddy to excuse me for a second, and I jog after her. I get within about 10 feet of her, slow down to a brisk walk, get in her peripheral vision and open her Direct.

We exchange pleasantries and go into Rapport. The issue I'm running into: I can't get her body to commit to the interaction. That is, her feet are still pointed in the direction she's travelling, and no matter how much I try to walk past her point of rotation she keeps just rotating her hips and neck towards me! It's kind of funny in a way and in hindsight I should've called it out to see if she'd turn to face me (away from where she was going), but that basically made the interaction very short. Couldn't really dig past Wide Rapport topics, and she eventually thanked me and went on her way.

LESSONS:
-Move your feet towards what you Want. More times than not wherever you were going originally can wait. Unless you're bleeding to death, then by all means stick to Plan A. ;-)
-GET HER TO COMMIT HER FEET TO THE INTERACTION. Do this by guiding them with your hands lightly and moving your body away from their original direction of travel. With this chick I couldn't get the initial kino in before the handshake, so it made steering her a touch difficult. Note to self...
-Don't let something like walking with co-workers stop you. Just excuse yourself really quick and do your thing. They'll understand, especially if you prep them beforehand ("If you see me take off after some random girl, don't mind me.")

A movie moment (but not The Movie Moment)

Was at a local movie theatre catching a screening of Paprika (which was awesome, by the way) when I saw this lone Asian girl sitting in the theatre. Hrrmmm.

Went out to use the bathroom and on my way back in I approached her. I strolled up near her and squatted down to talk with her. Nothing special in terms of opening her, just the usual "You're cute". Talked for a minute and switched from squatting to sitting near her (with one seat between us for comfort's sake).

She's Japanese and an import so I had to simplify my word choice when talking with her. I had to lead the conversation about 90/10 for a good 5 minutes, but eventually she started asking questions back which is a good thing.

Things were going well right until the movie started playing. I didn't have enough Rapport/Comfort with her so I couldn't get a proper close of any kind. :-\ Kind of bummed about that, but them's the breaks I guess.

Missed ONS(?) Numero Dos

Hindsight's a funny thing: the clarity it provides, the lessons learned, hopefully lessons that can be applied again in the near future. :-)

Was at The Edison this past Friday night with S. when I ran into my buddy Ulysses. Apparently he was there to hang out with two other guys I know (JV and E. who turned out to flake that evening), so we hung out together. The crowd was okay-- it was unofficial Asian Night again, which I both love and hate at the same time.

<rant>
What is it with groups of Asian girls? Honestly? It's like they've NEVER been social or flirted in public their ENTIRE LIVES, but most especially when they're cloistered together. Pretty much EVERY GROUP of Asian girls I've talked to since getting into the social scene has been shut-off to my approaches (which vary from blatantly social to blatantly sexual) and I can't get ANY of them to crack.

It's frustrating and I wonder why I even bother trying to talk to them when they're a group. I've had pretty good results when I can isolate one of them but that's rare; I've pretty much gotta catch them when they're either going to/from the bar or the bathroom, and I've gotta cut to the chase with a Direct opener and just move as quickly into Deep Rapport and a day2 set up as time and the environment permits.
</rant>

Fast-forward to the end of the evening. I had ended up opening this 2-set of cougars that were chilling out in the smoking lounge about some bullshit that I don't even remember (I think I commented on them singing), and I was telling the cute one that I was leaving. At this point it got kind of confusing: the dancers were on-stage below, and she was commenting about them and at the same time talking about closing out her bar tab, and when I went down to follow her she got lost in the crowd. At the same time S. had left early (for WHATEVER reason) and was texting me to hurry up and join him for some tacos, so I had to make an executive decision: bro vs. cougar?

Hindsight tells me that I should've rain-checked S. on the tacos and waited for the cougar to come back to see if I could get a different kind of taco that evening. As it turns out the confusion made me decide to say "F- it" and go for the carne asada-filled variety rather than the pink. *sigh*

Lesson learned.

FR: 30-Second Number-close

I was fortunate enough to score a free ticket to the Playboy Jazz Festival this afternoon (which is awesome unto itself, had a box seat with some good friends). On the way trudging towards my seat with a bag full of bottled water and Doritos I notice this cute Asian usher. Mental note for later, once I get situated.

Fast forward an hour: I'm walking back from the bathroom and I decide to keep walking towards the Asian chick. When I get there I see that she's standing next to a co-worker and it's blaring jazz music. Hrrmmm. I decide to go with a tried and true technique:

ME: Excuse me, can you help me? <indicating my ticket>
HER: Sure.
ME: Actually I just wanted to talk with you. You're really cute. :-) <point off into the bleachers somewhere, like she's giving me directions>
HER: :-)
ME: What's your name?
HER: A_____.
ME: I'm John. Nice to meet you. I know you're working right now, but I want to talk with you. What's your cell number?
HER: 818...
ME: Cool. What time do you get off work?
HER: 10:30pm.
ME: Cool. I'll call you at 11:00pm. Catch you later.

All in all about 30 seconds. Is it solid? Probably not-- I just called her right now (11:20pm) and she didn't pick up. I'll try again on Tuesday or something during normal business hours. Point being, though, is that a 30-second number-close is totally possible, given the right circumstances.

"Mr. Plow, that's my name..."

Earlier this morning I failed to take action while out at lunch with some co-workers (STUNNING redhead that passed by not once but TWICE by our outside dining table) so I knew I had to keep my eyes peeled for my Girl of the Day. She turned up on the campus of UCLA at Covel Commons (a study hall on-campus), of all places.

We were just wrapping up our Santa Monica Lair Lounge meeting this evening and I was walking back from the bathroom and some fresh air (those meeting rooms were never designed for 20+ guys to be sitting around in at once) when I noticed this cute-as-a-button Chinese girl standing in the doorway of the opposite study room visiting a friend of hers (judging from their conversation). I got solid EC from her and I knew I had to meet her.

I played it cool for a bit and waited until she was done talking with her friend. Right as she was walking away and turning the corner of the hallway I sprinted after her.

I got her attention and opened her Direct. She was on her way back to studying for a Math final, so I tried to establish some Rapport ASAP. Went for an early number close, to which she said she had a BF. I blew right by that first objection and switched topics. I don't know if she stayed and talked with me because she was interested in me in some way or out of politeness but in the end it doesn't matter-- I stayed and continued the conversation with her despite multiple BF objections and the time constraint. We eventually part ways (sans contact info) but I still took the lesson from this which is far more important to me:

• Sometimes "No" means "Not yet" (depending on context)
• Don't listen to a girl's words, listen to her actions/body
• Don't just give up on the first sign of resistance, go as far as you can take it

Ups and downs, smiles and frowns

For some reason or another Sunday and Monday were "Chicks Flaking On Me Day". The girl that I had a day2 with this past Wednesday plus a new girl I had met at an industry event both didn't pick up their phones even after back-to-back calls and a quick voicemail. The girl I'm flirting with at work is also starting to go cold (which is partly attributable to her work load and to her apartment hunt) and it's sooo frustrating.

Needless to say I was feeling less-than-stellar today. I tried to keep my spirits up with proper body language, fun music, and chatting up my friends at work. I'm a lot better at managing my state nowadays when I get depressed, but it still sucks the wind out of me somewhat. If anything I end up being slightly on the downturn of neutral, but I'll take that over out-and-out depression any day.

Of course the only cure for this is flirting with cute girls. That and more cowbell, but Christopher Walken was no where to be found. ;-)

It turns out God didn't want me feeling too shitty this evening-- while roaming around B&N at The Grove I spot this cute Asian/White chick browsing the books. I know what I have to do.

I approach her from the side, tap her on the side of her arm, step back, and tell her she's cute. She lights up, we exchange names and vibe. The energy's not totally sexually charged and I don't have superior body position to get more kino in, but I work the Rapport *really* well. In fact, she contact closes ME, doing the whole "tear a paper in half and exchange contact info" thing. Caught me off guard, to be honest, but luckily I'm always prepared with a pen. We exchange contact information and then vibe for a couple more minutes after which we part ways.

Is it solid? I don't know-- she's crashing at her BF's place until she moves up to the LA area next week, which means I have to play the timing and communication juuuuuuuuust right. I'm probably going to drop her a text message tomorrow, see if she replies. Either way that TOTALLY made my day and it lessened the pangs in my heart about the other chicks I'm having issues with.

I'm still a sexy guy dammit-- I need to keep reminding myself of this fact every day via the smiles I put on girls' faces.

An overcast day on the Promenade

Most people measure meaningful progress in large denominations: in miles, in number of chicks fvcked, in phone numbers collected. I prefer to measure progress in smaller units: in perseverance in the face of a difficult set, in the sudden clarity of a moment, in taking action despite your body's best efforts to "play it safe". I feel that long-term change is made in tiny steps which are repeatable, not in "lucky" moments or leaps-of-faith that happen to stick.

I was hanging out with a buddy of mine from the Santa Monica Lair, O.. We were spending an overcast day on 3rd Street Promenade, just wandering and flirting with cute girls. Despite getting no numbers and no notable Rapport with any of the girls I spoke with I still feel I made HUGE leaps today:

• I opened two RIDICULOUSLY HOT blondes standing in line at the Starbucks. Cold. It wasn't the best set in the world, and I was nervous as hell, but the fact that I took action in the face of massive Approach Anxiety is a HUGE thing for me.
• I stuck it out in a set with an ESL Korean chick through Wide Rapport and made it work. I used simple words, a lot of pantomime with my hands (to support my words) and a very light, easygoing vibe. It went well, except for the whole "she has a husband and a kid" thing. I still tried to carry the interaction forward, even after that tidbit, so yay me.
• I stopped a HOT blonde chick in Guess? with a Direct opener and got a genuine smile from her and some Wide Rapport. There's a part of me that still feels certain women are out of my league (in a way), so every time I can get one of "those types" of women to stop and engage me and have it work -- even without a contact close -- it's a confidence builder for me. This particular chick was working (personal assistant to someone that was eating at a restaurant next door, I saw earlier) so it made the interaction rushed. In retrospect I should've tried for a number close anyways. Nothing ventured, nothing gained.
• Stopped a HOT, tall blonde (I dunno, man, it was Hot Blonde Day at 3rd Street for some reason) with the 1-2-3 opener (credit: PU101) out on the Promenade and had a light and fun interaction. This is important because I've had TERRIBLE luck opening anyone out on the Promenade; this is mostly because of all the solicitors, bums, and religious nutjobs always pestering everyone out on the street. It's good practice for me to use the 1-2-3 for these situations.

All in all a good, tiring day. Now, time to relax in the rooftop jacuzzi to reward myself. B-)

Night Game - is it even worth it any more?

You know, it's funny how life can be thought of as a series of phases, steps or even milestones. I remember when I first started going out actively about 2 years ago how exciting and fresh things were. There was still an element of the unknown back then when it came to talking to groups of people, especially ones that had cute chicks in them. Shit was novel, to a degree.

Nowadays, I don't know. I still make myself go out and be social on Friday and Saturday nights but its more of a maintenance thing than anything. I try to push my comfort limits with every set but I have enough experience under my belt now to know which sets are going to go well and which ones are going to die a horrible death within the first couple of moments. My social awareness is pretty sharp nowadays and it's making me very selective about who I talk with, which is good and bad at the same time.

This doesn't mean I don't stick it out with the sets that I have a feeling aren't going anywhere-- it's still good experience to see how long you can hold the attention of everyone in a group, but even I have my conversational limits.

In any case, I guess the point of my rambling is this: my ROI during night game is pretty crappy. For a multitude of reasons (geography, group dynamic, even them being just plain ol' BORING) the sets rarely progress beyond wide Rapport and it's irking me. I have better success rates in the daytime and it makes me wonder sometimes why I even bother dressing up to head out if people are going to be anti-social (or worse, POLITE) with me when I go up to them to talk. I suppose there's merit to Night Game-- quantity of sets, refine kino and body language. But the cons are seem to be outweighing the pros more and more.

Maybe it's just tonight and my spotty results. I dunno. Maybe people generally suck and can't escape their cliquish behaviour. Maybe I need to fine-tune some aspects of my game. Maybe I'm outgrowing the need to go out at night and entering a new phase of life.

Maybe I just need to go to bed. Tomorrow's a new day...

Day2 with a blast from the past

Just finished a day2 with an old crush from college. She had found me on Friendster after 5 years of nada so I set up the day2 for tonight (after some quick catch-up-on-old-times and light banter on the phone). All in all it was about 2.5 hours (which is longer than I'd like) but we were having a good time.

Points of interest:
-Korean chick (mmmmm, yummy) AND she speaks fluent English (SCORE!)
-Multiple venue changes (Apartment -> Starbucks -> Roof of apartment -> Apartment) with ramping kino at each stop
-Got to tell one Deep Rapport story (which revolved around my self-improvement in a specifically vague way)
-She was actually pretty compliant the whole way, I just needed the balls to grab her and lead her around physically (which I did eventually)
-Got a k-close and set up day3 for next week

All in all a pleasant evening. B-)

Sticking Points:
-Ramp kino EVEN FASTER. In retrospect I probably could've made out with her on the roof or in the apartment but I didn't man up soon enough
-Once I have isolation, just go for it, straight up. Worst that'll happen is she'll say No (or "No"-meaning-not-yet)

Subway - Eat Fresh!

It's been a personal goal of mine to do at least one approach a day, if possible. It's a habit that I'd like to become subconscious, where ultimately I'd like to just see a cute chick, check the logistics, then go talk to her. Today was a positive step in this direction.

Was finishing up eating at Subway before jetting off to an appointment when I saw this cute Asian chick sitting near the soda dispensers. The key part for me, mentally, wasn't whether I was going to talk to her or not, it was how I was going to do it. Some part of me already resolved to meet her, and I did this cold (no warm-up sets or anything) which is uncommon for me still.

The details aren't all that important-- went Direct on her, got into Rapport, kind of flubbed the #close (she admitted she has a BF). In the end it's okay, the experience was worth more than the actual #close. I can parlay the feelings and knowledge towards the next cute chick that I come across.

To the one that got away

Dear Unmet Korean Girl,

It's amazing how life will throw you opportunities, whether you're ready for them or you're not. How standing in a Barnes & Noble at The Grove, minding your own business, can introduce fleeting moments of clarity, and indecision, and animal lust and a pause.

I'm writing this down, here, to remind me of these rare, fleeting moments. Life is ephemeral but it does give us what we desire, if all we do is ask for it. I've been asking the universe for a hot Korean chick for a while now, and I need to act when the moment happens.

There's never a perfect time to meet anyone. There's only the here and now. So here's to you, unnamed Korean Girl, may your lesson ring true in my soul, so that I may take action the next time The Universe gives me what I ask of it.

Sometimes this feels like a part-time job

All the progress I was making last week came to a screeching halt for some reason this past week. I couldn't peel myself away from work and I was feeling overly unmotivated to head out at night. Even this weekend (which is Memorial Day Weekend) I haven't even had a strong desire to go out and meet girls. I've basically been on a dry spell.

I'm not sure what it is. Maybe I'm getting burned out? There are times when the active search for girls to bring into my life feels like a part-time job. The returns haven't been THAT great yet, but part of that is my qualifying of the girls that I approach; I haven't really met anyone that really *sparks* it for me.

Like with anything worthwhile, though, I suppose it's not a matter of *if* but a matter of *when*. I just have to have faith that I'll start meeting women that Attract me on much more than just a physical level. There's already one in the pipeline but the logistics have just been Hell.

Tomorrow I need to go get a haircut on Melrose or something and then just wander around for a bit and see what Fate, Destiny and The Law of Averages brings my way.

The importance of taking action every day

This is more a Note To Self than anything:

Take action every day.

The act of moving my feet towards what I want is often more than enough to get me closer to the results I want. Sure there'll be times when the girl isn't receptive, or is not available, or any other number of reasons. BUT, the real lesson lies in the taking of action, not the outcome of that specific interaction.

Make it a daily habit. At least one cute girl a day must be told so. It will make her day, because a hot guy recognized the hard work she puts in to making herself cute. It will make my day because I get to see that cute face light up in appreciation. If more comes from it, all the better. :-)

Daytime Shenanigans at The Grove

Went out today to hang with my buddies S. and B. at The Grove for a couple of hours. We were there to hang out, catch up on stuff and talk to cute girls. :-) My personal mission that day was to work on my Indirect approaches. I was never really a fan of doing the "1-2-3" Indirect approach until I started instructing with PU101. It's funny how teaching people really elevates your own game and lets you re-experience things you thought you'd forgotten. In any case I developed a taste for it and wanted to hammer out the details of it for my own use. It's definitely a good tactic for street sets as it keeps things fun and flirty, plus it gives me an "out" if there's a language barrier and I don't want to continue past the "1" portion of the "1-2-3".

I'm still having some issues with Rapport but I'm not sure if it's 100% on my end or if the environment also had a significant role in things. In any case, here are the sets of note:

1) Two cute chicks (definitely in the 8-9 range) were walking down the main drag towards the Farmer's Market. I came up from the side into their peripheral vision, extended my hand towards them and:

ME: Excuse me guys, do you know if there's an ATM around here?
GIRL 1: I think there's on--
ME: <kino her arm> ACTUALLY, I don't care-- I just came to flirt with you guys. You're just soooo cute, I had to say "Hi". :-)
GIRLS: <giggles and laughter>

Introductions went around and I went for my go-to Rapport question: "So where are you guys from?" We vibe for a minute or so but I can't take things deeper with either one. After a minute I let them get on their way.

I didn't get both of them to turn away from the direction they were heading, so I was fighting an uphill battle to keep them both engaged. Still, I made them feel good and I felt good, too, so not a loss at all.

2) Worker bee inside Nordstroms. I tap her elbow from the side, and:

ME: Hey, do I have to buy anything, or can I just flirt with you for free? :-) (credit: R. Kramer)
HER: <laughs>

Get intros and start vibing. I'm able to share some stories with her about me but she keeps looking over at the register and slowly increasing the physical distance between us. Eventually she excuses herself to help some customers and I bid her adieu.

Later on when I reconvene with B. (who was monitoring my set from a distance) he says she was checking me out while I was in a nearby section of the store, so I can't have done all THAT badly.

3) See this cute girl standing outside some restaurant.

ME: Excuse me, this may sound random, but you're really cute. I had to come meet you. :-)
HER: :-)

We exchange names and vibe for a minute. She's from Bulgaria and is there with her BF, so I try to work fast on the Rapport. No dice, she gets a call from her BF, so I wish her a good day.

4) Cute redhead inside B&N. She's listening to some music in the CD section of the store and has the headphones on tight. I put my hand in her peripheral vision so as to not startle her, motion for her to take off the headphones, and:

ME: Excuse me, this may sound random, but you're really cute. I had to come meet you. :-)
HER: :-)

While talking with her she slides the headphones on sort-of, with her ears poking out somewhat so she can hear me. We vibe for maybe a minute or two and she eventually gets back to her music.

I think with this particular set I didn't commit her body AWAY from what she was doing (listening to music), so that's a lesson for me: turn her at least 90 degrees (ideally 180 degrees) away from what she was doing while engaging her.

5) Two cute girls walking their dogs outside the Apple store. One of them is on the phone so I open the cuter one with:

ME: Excuse me, do you know if there's an ATM around here?
HER: I think there's one nea--
ME: Actually, I don't care. I just came here to flirt with you. :-)
HER: :-)

Introductions and vibe. This one's actually going really well with Rapport, UNTIL her friend's dog gets loose and runs after some other person's dog to sniff butts. After they recovered her dog that broke the vibe and they bounced.

Not sure what I could have done beyond that. I got ADOG'ed.

---

Overall an excellent day at The Grove. I have to rest up since I'm double-booked socially for the evening and have to drive around Downtown LA for two things.

I'm A Flirt

This is my jam right now: R. Kelly, "I'm A Flirt." Shit's catchy like a mutant strain of ebola and monkey pox. Rock, rock on...

The importance of good wingmanship

I went with my brother and a buddy of mine to The Edison this past Saturday night. Apparently Saturday is an unofficial Asian night which is TOTALLY fine by me. ^_^ We got there at 9:00pm and chilled until around 10:00pm when things started to fill up.

In any case, on to the point of this lil' post-- having a capable wingman is CRUCIAL to managing a large group of people. A good one will make your job effortless; a bad one will sabotage things for you before you've even really started.

Case in point: my buddy L. was winging for me on all the sets I was approaching but he wasn't trained in the ways of the Force (so to speak) so he was basically making my job 10x's harder. Most of the sets of the evening went like this:

1. I open the set.
2. Not even 10 seconds in he shows up and just orbits behind my back. Aaaarrgghhh, don't do that man, it's creepy to the girls! T_T;;
3. I introduce him to the group way too early, and he jumps on just one chick and engages just her, leaving me to manage the rest of the group.
4. The vibe in the set dies soon after.

Times like this make me want to go to clubs solo. :-\ I love the guy, honestly I do, but he unintentionally was salting my game! My options are pretty clear, here:

A. Run game solo (not as fun)
B. Train L. how to be a proper wingman
C. Find another wingman that's already well-versed in the ways of Wingmanship.

If anyone else is reading this, here's the basic Rules:

• He who opens the group runs the group. Defer power to Him.
• Your Wing is More Important, More Interesting, and Cooler than ANYONE ELSE in that venue. Act accordingly.
• When you enter the group, address your Wing and let him introduce you to the group. After that, ACT NORMAL. Assume Rapport/Comfort with the group.
• Your primary duty is to help your Wing get laid. This means you're there to occupy the group while your Wing gets one-on-one time with his intended Girl.
• If your Wing says it's time to bounce, then it's time to bounce.

I just thought these were cool

Saw these images on this guy's website and thought they were fitting, somehow:



That's it. Carry on...

An Afternoon at the Beverly Center

I stepped out of work early today since I had finished all the stuff I needed to work on. It was a touch cold out for 3rd Street Promenade so I decided to head to the Beverly Center and look for a white jacket (I needed one for my wardrobe, in any case).

I actually found a really sick jacket in Bloomingdale's so I decided to keep shopping for other things in the mall (and by "other things" I mean chicks). The mall was lightly populated at 5:00pm– there were definitely cute chicks around but none that really caught my fancy. Some Asian chicks with boyfriends or in otherwise awkward-to-approach situations, so my state was falling a little bit. :-\

After getting an early dinner from KFC (I didn't know there were KFC's in malls, let alone in the frickin' Beverly Center) I was feeling a little bit better so I headed into one of the big department stores, doing warm-up sets along the way. On my way out of there I spot this cute black chick working one of the departments. Now when I look at my track record of Types Of Chicks I Dig black girls tend to not be in the top spots– I don't know why, they just never "did" it for me. That is, except for this chick. Something about her made me want to go talk to her, so I did.

ME: Excuse me...
HER: Yes, can I help you?
ME: Ya, do I have to buy anything, or can I just flirt with you for free? :-) (credit: R. Kramer)
HER: <Caught off-guard for a moment, realizes I'm flirting with her, then laughs>
ME: I can't help it, you're just sooooo cute. :-) What's your name?
HER: I'm ________.

From there I vibe with her, searching for emotional threads to run with. I'm able to bring things down to about medium rapport, talking about our families and such. At one point I tell her about my day job and she asks for my business card; I oblige her with one. I misstep a little on the day2 attempt and don't get the contact info. D'oh! After a little bit I bid her a pleasant evening.

Some things for me to work on:

• Transition to day2 was a little rocky this time. Have to remember to gauge her interest in a day2 before trying to set it up.
• My closest hand was occupied with a garment bag which made kino difficult. :-\ MENTAL NOTE: Switch bag to other hand.
• Have to try taking Rapport EVEN DEEPER next time. See if I can find more emotional threads to hit in the time span I have.

There and back again

May 1st, 2007. This date has some significance for me in regards to this whole "relationships with women" aspect of my life. 3 months ago I had set some lofty personal goals for myself, inspired by a workshop class I took which focused on personal goal-setting.

I carried a goal card around with me at all times. Heck, I still have it in my wallet. It reads:

I will have ongoing intimate relationships with four cute chicks (in a two-week rotation) by May 1, 2007.

Crazy-sounding, I know (you should've seen the card I had prior o_O;;). Well, it's the evening of May 1st and I haven't achieved this goal. Does this mean I've failed?

I'd like to think that it was a learning experience more than a failure. I used to think I wanted four chicks at once. Granted they'd be spaced out so that I saw them once every 10-14 days. Now, I don't feel so strongly about that...

People's perspectives on life change with time, mine included. I'm going to be re-writing my card this week after I reflect on what I want some more. New goal, new parameters for success, new milestones to set and achieve. I'm thinking my new goal may read something like this:

I will have one ongoing intimate relationship with one awesome-beyond-belief chick by September 1, 2007.

September is actually a good marker to stop and survey my progress on this goal-- my birthday occurs in September, so in a cosmic way it's fitting. Now, this new goal doesn't occlude fuck buddies or one-nighters, but it does focus my intent and energy towards finding a woman that I TOTALLY dig. It's a worthy goal.

AoA:LA and AoR:LA, Part Deux

It seems PU101's schedule of classes is increasing in frequency. It's kind of good and kind of bad at the same time-- I like helping out (and rising through the ranks) but man it's SUCH a drain on my resources. My weekend gets shot and my energy reserves are tapped by Monday.

There are positives to the whole thing, though. Instructing students makes me step up my game at a rapid pace because I have to show and prove at the drop of a hat. I also get to pick the brains of other instructors and share and gather knowledge in a concentrated form. Ohh, and there's that whole "make cute girls smile" thing, I guess that's kinda fun. ;-)

Some sets of note for posterity's sake:

(1) AoR Saturday night. Hung out with the PU101 interns at Saddle Ranch for an hour or so (I was DEAD tired and just wanted to chill and have a beer). While flirting with the waitresses in the outdoor seating area of Saddle Ranch, Gamer* and I both notice this table with one cute blonde surrounded by 3 guys. None of the guys looked like her boyfriend just from observing how they sat and interacted. A couple of times the blonde looked at Gamer and/or myself-- like strong, solid eye contact.

After a couple more rounds of flirting with the waitresses I excused myself from our group and approached their table. I got the attention of the guys and gal at the table, and:

ME: Excuse me, guys. Do you mind if I talk to your friend for a second?
ORBITING GUY FRIEND: Which one?
ME: Her. <Turn to the chick, who is seated close to where I'm standing now> I was sitting over there with my friends and I noticed you, and you're really cute. I had to come meet you.
HER: ^_^ I'm Rebecca!

I introduce myself to her and to her friends (don't be rude, now) and ask how they know each other. She says that they're all old classmates. Architects, it turns out. Cool.

I lean up against the railing and vibe with her for a little bit. At one point She asks what I do, so I take that opportunity to drop things into medium Rapport. I share one of my Identity stories, talking about how I enjoy being a catalyst in peoples' lives. Things were starting to go somewhere, conversation-wise...

...until the orbiter interrupts our conversation by asking Rebecca about her plans for this coming weekend. My Rapport doesn't trump his Rapport in this instance (remember: classmates), so I lose her attention. It didn't feel right to re-engage her with some Attraction material so I let it go and just vibe with the other two guys for a couple minutes until I decide to leave. I tell them all that it was a pleasure meeting them and exit gracefully.
---

(2) AoR Sunday afternoon, Melrose Ave. Was instructing one of the students, J. and one of the interns, B. No particular sets hooked for me, but I did get a LOT of practice opening Mother/Daughter and Father/Daughter sets. It helped me calibrate that timing and how to address both people with the proper energy and respect towards the parents.

There was one missed opportunity that I regret not taking action on-- there was a stacked blonde chick on the other side of the street walking by and I couldn't get a good look at her face, so I hesitated running across the street (that is, across Melrose Ave, not a side street) to open her Direct. Lesson learned: take action anyways. If it turns out she's not what I'm looking for I can always just keep walking past her.

I had one fantastic blow-out in a jewelry store. I approached some Lebanese-looking girl from the side with the start of my 1-2-3:

ME: Excuse me, do you know if there's a Bank of America around he--
HER: No. <Turns away>
ME: ...
ME: <Walk away and engage the Korean chick behind the counter>

It didn't phase me at all, I just thought it was REALLY funny. It's that girl's loss, ultimately, we could've had a fun interaction.
---

*Handles used to protect the identities of the innocent (and not so innocent, as the case may be. ^_^;; ).

An Evening at Villa Sorriso (Pasadena, CA)

Today I had previous engagements so I had to skip out on instructing at AoA for this evening (although I'll be back tomorrow). In the morning I participated in a graphic design portfolio review down at Cal State Long Beach and by the time I was done I was nearly asleep. I made the long drive back up the 110 to LA (half-asleep, not a good idea) and hit the sack for an hour to recharge.

Drove up to Pasadena for a buddy's birthday dinner shindig at Villa Sorriso, an upscale dining experience at the west end of Old Town Pasadena. Good food, good company, good times.

The restaurant converts to a dance spot later in the evening, so we hung out there until the party started going into full swing. My buddy's drunk but taken care of so I go and work the crowd. I'm in socializing mode and I'm using no canned routines or anything-- just walking around and talking to people like the sexXxy beast I am. :-)

One interaction went pretty well and I learned a lot about kino calibration and just exuding sexuality. She was standing at the front in the smoking area with two of her friends and I was finishing up a cigarette and convo with some guys I was engaging. She kept looking in my direction, although I didn't know if she was looking at me or the guys behind me, but it didn't matter. I went up to her, told her she's cute in a playful but confident way, aaaand we're off to the races. She's a voluptuous lil' Latina, and she's cute enough that I want to talk to her. We talk for a few, get the hand test in (passed) and engage her friends for a few minutes until they decide to hit up the bar. I'm whatever about it and say I'll catch them later.

Fast forward 20 minutes I run into them again outside while they're having drinks. I bust on them by playfully accusing them of stalking me, which gets them laughing. My girl suggests we go dance and I happily oblige. I lead her to the dance floor by her hand and hand test again (passed again) and we start grindin' on the dance floor. She's into it and rubs up on my goods for the bulk of our dancing and I let my hands wander around her butt. She keeps pushing them away but I pay it no mind, it's not a big deal to me. We leave the dance floor after a couple of minutes because the DJ sucks and keeps changing the style of music, and I tease her about charging her $20 for the dance. Rejoin her friends where they head to the bar (again), I let them go and head in the other direction.

Fast forward 20 minutes (again), I'm on the phone with a good buddy of mine just shooting the shit and in my peripheral I see my lil' Latina sitting in the corner getting hit on by some douche. I'm debating whether to go rescue her or not, but I'm still on the phone with my buddy so I decide not to. Besides the fact that I really wasn't THAT into her (although I'm fairly certain she'd be down for a ONS) I didn't want to hang up on my buddy.

Some of you might be saying "WTF? Go get the chick and fuck her!". A part of me would agree, but another part doesn't really WANT sex for the sake of it especially with a chick that I only *sort of* think is attractive. I took the lesson instead, which I'll be able to apply to chicks that I *REALLY* dig (read: Korean chicks with limited english abilities).

So, what have we learned tonight, kids?
-I'm one sexXxy beast, grrrr baby, yeah!
-I'm more or less non-reliant on routines now and just state the obvious and let my body language do the rest of the work
-I DEFINITELY need to work on my dance floor game. It was serviceable with this chick but I do think there's more for me to learn there
-I should've kinoescalated to the point that she vocalizes wanting to bounce if only for the experience
-Being outcome independent is a great feeling. :-)

PU101's Art of Attraction: LA

So I've been tapped as an in-field-coach-in-training for PU101's AoA:LA this weekend. I don't know what to feel about it, really.

On the one hand I like the fact that they're asking me to help them out because it's in my nature to be helpful to people and to get enjoyment out of the process. On the other hand it's in a"try-out" role, which I can sort of understand but at the same time I can't help but feel like my time may not be appreciated.

I hate when people waste my time. It's a pet peeve of mine. This is one of the reasons I loathe jury duty: my time is undervalued by other people and I just want to headbutt their grandma for it.

I learned a lot from their workshops when I attended, which is why I'm willing to donate my time in the first place. I just hope they utilize my time and appreciate my presence and experience and not make me regret being such a generous person.

I'm going to try and maintain a positive outlook on this. Maybe I'll get some ONS's or a day2 out of this from some chicks I meet this weekend. That'd be a nice reward.

FR: The Edison

Quickly--

Went to a new bar in Downtown LA called The Edison (bar in converted turn-of-the-century power plant). Dope venue, no cover, TONS of cute chicks. This is my new Friday night spot, methinks. :-)

Only one noteworthy set:

Opened a 2f-set near stage. Engaged them with nothing flashy in terms of Attract (the venue didn't feel all that ADD, despite the music, so I didn't feel like I had to dig deep into the bag of tricks). Buddy came to wing me, so I talked with the cute 31 y/o Pinay of the set.

What was interesting was that she is very much a Type "A" personality-- very talkative, VERY kinesthetic (probably a Scorpio or a Pisces), very engaging. This threw my game a lil' since I was used to girls that I had to pry info out of, so I brought things down to Rapport energy levels and let her do most of the talking.

Long story short-- got a #close (I know, I know...), played with her for a little bit on the phone, then bid her and her group adieu. This morning sent her a playful text to see if I'd made a good enough impression to get her to text back and get the ball rolling.

Hey, how's my globetrotting gymnast doing today? :-) -JS

(She's well-travelled and a former gymnast, hence the above references)

Didn't get an immediate response so I was like, "Whatever", and went about my day.

Around 11:00pm she texted me back, so there might be something there to pursue. Ohh, I forgot to mention that she's engaged. Not that I'm letting that stop me, that just means I have to be more discreet about stuff. :-)

The Missed ONS

Just wanted to put this up here for posterity so I don't forget. Was at a social mixer for professionals in Santa Monica (got one soft contact close from a cute Korean chick, could've been better but her friend was there the entire time) and hung out with some people from the Santa Monica Lair.

Afterwards went to Busby's on Santa Monica Blvd. to hang out, talk, and play some table tennis. While sitting down near the entrance to the table tennis room and talking with a newbie about game this drunk chick (I'd give her, like, a 6 or 7 on the numeric scale) rolls up behind us and is staring at the table tennis. I open her, light banter, introductions. Eye contact is good, so I start rampin' the kino and I can just tell it's on. I do some basic Rapport with her and keep kinoescalating.

The problem is the newbie won't take the hint and leave. He's engaging her the *whole* time in logical BS and I can't help but cringe on the inside. :-\ Eventually she leaves.

If the newbie weren't there it could've been sooo easy to just say, "So are you ready to leave?" and bounced her right then and there.

In hindsight I should've just boxed out the newbie (asshole move, but necessary) and kinoescalated her to the point of bouncing. A lesson learned, regardless.

FR: Beverly Center

OBSERVATIONS
-Relax and smile. It goes far.
-Being honest with your intentions can work if you're sincere about it and not dicking her around
-Discretion is the better part of valor... or something

THE STORY
Went back to the Beverly Center tonight as per my normal scheduled time to go... somewhere where girls gather. I had spent the previous two hours looking for some web programmer interns for work at The Art Institute of LA so I was socially warm already. I had four interactions, all with Hired Guns (because, hey, they're relatively easy):

1) Blonde in first-floor of Bloomingdales. I flubbed this one pretty bad but pushed through it to Rapport, which was choppy and disjointed at best. After about 5 minutes I bid her adieu.

2) White girl from Iowa working in Kenneth Cole store. She was cute (kind of a Meg Ryan quality to her face) so I went in and told her so. She was physically ill so I had no opportunity for kino other than the handshake (she was holding a crumpled kleenex in hand and looked tired) but went through my Rapport stack anyways. Rapport went well (and was good practice for me) so I went for the day2, got the BF answer. I said "cool" and wished her a good evening.

3) Chinese girl working in the Gelato place up in the food court. High School senior(!) and a little chubby but cute nonetheless. Just vibed with her, got some logistical info (like the whole "I'm in High School" thing), flirted a lil' then bid her a pleasant evening. This one's a fine line that I'm walking, since I don't like jail.

4) Korean chick in Armani Exchange. I'll elaborate on this interaction because it almost caught me off-guard:

HER: Excuse me do you need any help?
ME: No, I'm just poking around.
HER: OK... [starts to leave]
ME: Actually... one thing...
HER: ???
ME: I know this is a little random... but I just had to say you're really cute.
HER: :-D Thanks! High-five!
ME: [Almost got caught off-guard by this reaction] No, wait, you get a Low-five... [low-five her]
HER: :-\ :-)
ME: OK... now you get a high-five, too! [high-five her]
HER: [laughs] [starts to walk away]
ME: [Grip her fingers a little] Wait, what's your name?
HER: C____. :-)
ME: I'm John. :-)

From here I get about 30 seconds of Wide Rapport before some customer comes in and pulls her away. :-\ I chill and do some shopping, then re-open for a little bit. Flirt a lil' and ask her if some shirt I grabbed makes me look hot or sexy and get her to laugh. Find out she's from the same hometown as I am(!) so I roll with that for a second before she's pulled away again.

I go try on some clothes then come back out.

ME: Hey, C______.
HER: :-)
ME: I know you're REALLY busy right now, but I want to take some time to get to know you. When do you get out of work tonight?
HER: 10:30pm.

From there we waffle on her schedule some, but it's nothing solid. So I go for the contact close.

ME: Let me get your number and I'll call you tomorrow so we can set up a time to meet.
HER: :-\ ...
ME: Just tell me, I'll memorize it. I don't want to put you on the spot.
HER: :-) 700-6...
ME: Wait, [grab a random shirt] take me to a changing room.
HER: :-D

Get into a spare changing room, get her number properly and give her a quick call so she has my number in her cell phone.

Leave the store and leave a voicemail that goes like this:

"Hey C_____ this is John, that sexy and/or hot guy you met at work in A|X. I just wanted to leave you a message so you know what my voice sounds like on the phone. I'll give you a call tomorrow so we can set up a time to meet next week. Talk to you later. :-)"